Leonard: You can't let this kid get to you. You always knew that someday someone would come along who was younger and smarter.
Sheldon: Yes, but I assumed I would have been dead hundreds of years, and that there would be an asterisk by his name because he would be a cyborg.

Penny: So, you've got a bit of competition, I really don't see what the big deal is.
Sheldon: Well of course you don't, you've never excelled at anything.

Sheldon: What exactly is it you do? I know you chatter on about it all the time, but I've never really paid attention.
Leonard: Okay, well, right now I'm designing an experiment to study the soft component of cosmic radiation at sea-level, but I really don't need any help.
Sheldon: Oh, sure you do. Now, see, what's this here in the schematic, is that a laser array?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Now, hmmm. What happens if you use argon lasers instead of helium neon?
Leonard: It would blow up.
Sheldon: Are you sure?
Leonard: Pretty sure.
Sheldon: Pretty sure's not very scientific. Is this how you normally work, just hunches and guesses and stuff?

Sheldon: Hey, Howard. You're a Jew. If there was another wailing wall, exactly like the one in Jerusalem, but close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs, would you still be able to wail at it?

Dr. Gablehauser: Mr Kim was not only the valedictorian at Stamford University, he is also the youngest recipient of the prestigious Stephenson Award.
Sheldon: Youngest till the cyborgs rise up!

Sheldon: I wonder why no-one else bid, this is a classic piece of sci-fi movie memorabilia.
Leonard: Yeah, I know, I still can't afford it.
Howard: Why don't we share it? We'll each put in two hundred bucks and we'll take turns having it in our homes.
Raj: A time share time machine? I'm in.

Sheldon: It's the same amount of work no matter how fast you go, basic physics.
Raj: Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yeah.
Raj: If my fingers ever work again, I've got a job for the middle one.

Penny: Damn, okay, Ill just take the roof.
Leonard: Hey, if you wait for us to set up the time machine, I can drop you off at work yesterday. Time travel joke. It's not ... never mind.
Sheldon: For what it's worth, I thought it was humorous.

Raj: Oh yeah. The guy who lives next to me is always like, I have a Jacuzzi on my balcony, I have a Jacuzzi on my balcony. But wait until I tell him, I've got a time machine on my balcony. Stuff that in your speedos, Jacuzzi Bob!

Raj: I still want it on my balcony. I say we move it on a bi-monthly basis.
Leonard: That sounds fair.
Sheldon: Hold on. Bi-monthly is an ambiguous term, do you mean move it every other month, or twice a month?
Raj: Twice a month.
Sheldon: Then no.
Raj: Okay, every other month.
Sheldon: No.

Leonard: Now, out of the way so I can sit in my time machine. Okay, I am setting the dials for March 10th, 1876.
Howard: Good choice, Alexander Graham Bell invents the telephone and calls out for Dr Watson.
Sheldon: Wait a minute. I want to see that too.
Leonard: So when it's your turn, you can.
Sheldon: But if we all go back to the same point in time, Bell's lab is going to get very crowded. He'll know something's up.
Raj: Also, since the time machine doesn't move in space, you'll end up in 1876 Pasadena.
Howard: And even if you can make it to Boston, what are you going to do? Knock on the door and say to Mrs. Bell, "Hey, Mrs. Bell, big fan of your husband, can I come in and watch him invent the telephone?
Raj: Mrs. Bell was deaf. Shes not even going to hear you knock.

Penny: I want to talk to you.
Sheldon: What would we talk about? We've no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of,. and you know I don't care for chit-chat.

Leonard: Here you go, Copenhagen boy, how about a taste of Hans Christian Hand Grenade.

Leonard: What about if you went out with me?
Penny: Are you asking me out?
Leonard: Um, yes, I am, asking you out.
Penny: Wow.
Leonard: I was just going off your comment about the nice guy...
Penny: No, I know, I got that. Yeah, totally.
Leonard: ...thing and honestly, it's no big deal.
Penny: Yes.
Leonard: Yes what?
Penny: Yes, I will go out with you.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Yeah. Why not, I mean, what do I have to lose?
Leonard: Yeah. That's the spirit.

Doug: What's up, bro?
Leonard: Uh, nothing much... Bro!