Howard: Nobody ever expects me. And bam! Howard Wolowitz.

Sheldon: If I'm not taking credit for our work, then nobody is!
Leonard: So, you admit that it's our work!
Sheldon: No, once again I'm throwing you a bone. And once again, you are welcome.
Howard: Oh no he didn't!

Leonard: How was work?
Penny: Well, you know, it's the Cheesecake Factory. People order cheesecake, and I bring it to them.
Leonard: So, you sort of act as a carbohydrate delivery system.
Penny: Yeah, call it whatever you want, I get minimum wage.

Sheldon: Oh, I've seen that look before. This is just going to be two weeks of moping and tedious Emo songs, and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats. I don't know if I can take it.
Raj: You could power down.

Penny: Here, why don't you put these on while I find a shirt and sport-coat to match.
Leonard: Great, be right back.
Penny: Well, where you going, just put them on.
Leonard: Here?
Penny: Oh, are you shy?
Leonard: No, I'm not shy.
Penny: Don't worry, I won't look.
Leonard: I know you won't look. Why would you look. There's nothing to see. Well, not nothing...
Penny: Sweetie, put the pants on.
Leonard: Putting them on.

Penny: Alright, moving on. Oh, wow, a paisley shirt.
Leonard: Uh-huh, it goes with my corduroy suit.
Penny: If you mean it should end up in the same place then, I agree.

Penny: You should just talk to him, I'm sure you guys can work this out.
Sheldon: It's certainly preferable to my plan.
Penny: Which was?
Sheldon: A powerful laxative.

Sheldon: Anyway, Penny now believes that on Friday night, we're going to participate in my cousin Leopold's drug intervention.
Leonard: Your cousin Leopold?
Sheldon: Yea, who most people call Leo, but he also answers to Lee. Remember that, it's important.
Leonard: What's important?
Sheldon: Details, Leonard. The success or failure of our deceitful enterprise turns on details.

Dennis Kim: It's startling to me you haven't considered a Lorentz invariant field theory approach.
Sheldon: You think I haven't considered it? You really think I haven't considered it?
Dennis Kim: Have you considered it?
Sheldon: Get him out Leonard.
Leonard: Come on, Dennis, I'll show you the radiation lab.
Dennis Kim: Wow, you won the Stephenson award.
Sheldon: Yes, in fact I am the youngest person ever to win it.
Dennis Kim: Really, how old?
Sheldon: Fourteen and a half.
Dennis Kim: You were the youngest person ever to win it.

Leonard: Excuse me, my friend is having an allergic reaction to peanuts.
Althea: No, he's not.
Leonard: Yes he is.
Althea: Look, sir, we are very busy here and I just don't ... (Sees Howard's heavily swollen face) holy crap!

Leonard: Did it ever occur to you that not everyone has the compulsive need to sort, organize and label the entire world around them?
Sheldon: No.

Sheldon: It's actually based on a very sound thesis. His mother published a paper on it.
Penny: What was it called? "I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake"?

Leonard: There you go, Pad Thai, no peanuts.
Howard: But does it have peanut oil?
Leonard: Uh, I'm not sure. Everyone keep an eye on Howard in case he starts to swell up.
Sheldon: Since it's not bee season, you can have my epinephrine.

Howard: Haven't you ever been told how beautiful you are in flawless Russian?
Penny: No, I haven't.
Howard: Get used to it.
Penny: Yeah, I probably won't.

Penny: Hey Raj! (silence) Still not talking to me, huh?
Sheldon: Don't take it personally. It's his pathology. He can't talk to women.
Howard: He can't talk to attractive women, or in your case a cheesecakescented Goddess!