Bert: Good question. Let's see. Infoseek, WebCrawler, oh, HotBot.

Penny: All right, how much exactly does he pay for?
Raj: Okay, I'll tell you, but please don't judge me. He pays for my car, my rent, and my credit cards.
Leonard: I'm trying, but I'm judging.

Howard: You don't need your dad's money. You can get by on your salary.
Leonard: Yeah. Well, we work at the same place as you, and we've always been fine.
Raj: Oh, please. Look in the mirror. You both look ten years older than I do.

Amy: Sheldon, it's humiliating. Thanks to you, my colleagues are gossiping about our sex life.
Sheldon: What is there to gossip about? We barely have one.

Bert: Hey. Looks like I got stood up, so I'm gonna head out.
Amy: Oh, no. Are you sure you don't want to give her a few more minutes?
Bert: Nah, G-Harmony recommends after two hours, it's time to cut bait.

Sheldon: MSN Search, AltaVista, and Ask Jeeves. You?
Amy: Sorry, I don't have a list of defunct search engines that I miss.

Raj: It turns out he doesn't care if I'm married or if I'm single. He's basically given up on me.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
Raj: It is. He stopped trying to find Indian girls for me to marry.
Leonard: All you did was complain when he did that.
Penny: Leonard, he's hurting. Let him feel how he feels.
Raj: Thank you, Penny.
Penny: Yeah. Shoes, I'm a seven-and-a-half; boots, I'm an eight.

Raj: My father thinks the reason I can't make a relationship work is because I'm spoiled.
(Everybody is quiet, looking sheepishly away from Raj)
Leonard: I'm sorry, is he waiting for someone to disagree?

Amy: Sheldon, that was so sweet of you.
Sheldon: Well, I could deduce by his facial expression and body language that he was sad.
Amy: So the part where he got stood up didn't clue you in?
Sheldon: You want me to look at him and listen to him?

Penny: Oh, someone's been shopping at Gucci.
Raj: Yeah, I saw something for Halley and I couldn't resist.
Bernadette: That's so sweet of you.
Raj: Yeah, it's a crushed velvet baby cape.
Howard: Oh, no, now we have two.

Penny: You know, we could've come to you guys. You didn't have to bring the baby here.
Bernadette: Oh, it's okay. It's good to get out of the house.
Howard: And the car ride puts her to sleep.
Leonard: Aw, that used to work with Sheldon.
Penny: Yeah, until someone left him in the drugstore parking lot and he freaked out.
Leonard: Who forgot to crack the window?

Sheldon: If you think that's more fun than talking to Zachary Quinto through a stall door, you're crazy.

Amy: The food here's supposed to be great. Don't fill up on chips.
Sheldon: Oh, I won't. I have a trick. I only eat equilateral triangles. Isosceles, isosceles, oh, scalene (breaks the corner off a chip and eats it) - You didn't see that.

Penny: That must've been expensive.
Raj: Yeah, it was. But it's my father's money and I'm mad at him.
Leonard: What's going on with your dad?
Penny: And if you really want to hurt him, I look great in Chanel.

Dr. Koothrappali: So what else is going on with your life?
Raj: Uh, well, I was dating a woman at the university, but we broke up.
Dr. Koothrappali: I'm sorry to hear that.
Raj: I know you are. That's why you just bought me a new iPad.