Amy: I am really regretting that I got you a Happy Meal.

Sheldon: Look, I'm sorry. Tell me why Bernadette is upset with you.
Penny: Well, I told people at work that she's pregnant. She wasn't ready for them to know.
Sheldon: Why would you do that?
Penny: Well, it just slipped out. I feel terrible.
Sheldon: See, that's exactly what happened to me, except that I said it on purpose, and I have no regrets.

Raj: Is it even possible to get this done in two months?
Howard: Well, maybe. I don't know. We'll have to work twelve hours a day, seven days a week.
Leonard: Which means I won't be able to make Penny breakfast every day, and she'll realize my brioche French toast was the only thing keeping her in the marriage.
Howard: I love your French toast.
Leonard: Oh, thanks, man.

Raj: Wow. You're going off to work with the military, leaving me behind. Now I know how all those army wives feel.
Howard: Would you stop? We're just gonna be on the other side of campus.
Raj: And right here. (holding his hand on his chest)
Howard: You are a deeply silly man.
Raj: (To Leonard) He is so afraid of his feelings.

Bernadette: I just wanted to apologize. I know what you did was an accident.
Penny: Oh, thank you, and I'm sorry I lied about it.
Bernadette: For what it's worth, you're a great liar.
Penny: Oh, that's what Amy said.

Penny: You threatened to sue?
Bernadette: Hey, I learned a long time ago, when you're four feet eleven and eye level with every guy's crotch, that's where you punch.
Penny: That's funny. I learned something totally different.

Sheldon: I am cool. This is YooHoo. Chocolate milk's delicious, watery cousin.

Raj: Well, I think the first thing we should get rid of is that tone.

Howard: If you're tired, have some coffee.
Sheldon: What? You have some coffee.
Howard: I am having coffee.
Sheldon: And look how irritable it's making you!

Sheldon: I don't think I can go much longer.
Leonard: It's been three and a half minutes, wake up!

Penny: Oh, I'll go. I like a party.
Amy: Well, to be honest, it's not like a "party" party. It's more like a gathering where scientists of different disciplines get together to share their work and keep current on what's going on in other fields. I don't know why I called it a party, sorry.

Bernadette: I should probably keep this in case we have a girl.
Raj: Oh, that's a nice one. Was it yours when you were little?
Bernadette: My dad built it for me.
Raj: Wow, it's so cute.
Bernadette: This was the husband and this was the wife. They'd go out on adventures together. Cruises, skiing, horseback riding. That was really me just duct taping them to our dog.
Raj: Oh, and did they have kids?
Bernadette: They did, but the mommy and daddy didn't like them, so they shipped them off to an orphanage I made out of a shoebox.
Raj: Yeah, that's not worrisome at all.

Bert: Well, I guess this is kind of a bust. You don't have to stay. I'm gonna start cleaning up.
Penny: Okay.
Amy: I feel so bad about leaving him here.
Penny: Oh, it's funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you.

Bert: Hey, listen, could you not say anything about this to the people at the university? You know, 'cause you're you and I'm me, and it's kind of embarrassing.
Penny: Wait, what do you mean "she's her"?
Bert: Well, you know how Amy's the coolest girl on campus, right?
Penny: No.
Amy: No.
Bert: Oh yeah, everybody thinks so.
Penny: What? You tell me about your foot fungus, but this is a secret?

Bert: And when Amy started using a solution of chromic acid and white vinegar to clean all her lab equipment, all of a sudden, everybody was doing it.
Penny: You trend setter!
Amy: Just the right idea at the right time.