Leonard: I'm gonna get some coffee. You want some?
Sheldon: Uh, you're really going to have caffeine in front of me when I'm trying to get my life back on track?
Leonard: Uh, okay, let's pretend you do have a problem.
Sheldon: I do.
Leonard: You don't.
Sheldon: Yeah, but I do.
Leonard: No, you don't! But let's say you do. And don't say you do, because you don't! Now, wouldn't you think that throwing yourself into your work would be the best way to deal with it?
Sheldon: With what?
Leonard: Your problem.
Sheldon: I thought I didn't have a problem.
Howard: That was painful to watch.

Raj: So where are we going?
Bernadette: I don't know.
Raj: Okay. How Thelma and Louise of us.

Bernadette: I keep waiting to feel excited, but it's not happening. What if it never happens?
Raj: Bernadette, come on, look, you're over thinking this, okay? You're gonna be an amazing mom. Even if you don't believe it, I know you have maternal instincts.
Bernadette: Once, I was supposed to babysit my brothers. Our neighbor found them naked in the backyard eating crickets.
Raj: Happy and well-fed. You see, that's what I'm taking from that story.

Sheldon: Leonard, can I ask you a question?
Leonard: Is it about the rotational symmetries you should be figuring out or your fake caffeine problem?
Sheldon: Howard, can I ask you a question?
Howard: No.

Amy: So, technically, I'd be moving in with my boyfriend?
Penny: I guess so. I'd finally get to live alone with my husband.
Amy: Oh, my, this is a big step.
Leonard: Mm-hmm. For two of us, it's in the right direction.

Sheldon: What if living together kills the romance?
Penny: Okay, you guys had sex one whole time. Nothing can put out a fire like that.

Leonard: Star Trek: The Original Series. The Enterprise was on a five-year mission to explore new worlds. Think of this as your personal five-week mission to do the same.
Sheldon: If you want to lure me in with sexy talk, that's how you do it.
*Leonard smiles at Penny*
Penny: Don't be proud of that.

Penny: Wait. Why don't you guys stay across the hall, and we will live here?
Sheldon: Interesting. If my official residence were across the hall, I wonder if I'd need to knock every time I came over here.

Sheldon: I accept this five-week mission to share a living space with my girlfriend.
Amy: Oh, this is so exciting.
Sheldon: Well, now, don't be surprised if, like Star Trek, it's canceled in three.

Bernadette: Let me see the sonogram again. (laughs) Oh, yeah, that's a good-looking baby for a little gray blob.
Howard: Yeah, we could name him Blobert.
Bernadette: What if it's a girl?
Howard: Bloberta. Or Blobbi with an "I."

Amy: You've been roommates with Sheldon forever. Do you have any advice?
Leonard: I'm trying to think of an answer that won't stop you from doing this.

Sheldon: How many pairs of underwear did you pack for the move?
Amy: I don't know. I didn't count.
Sheldon: You truly are the Goofus to my Gallant.
Amy: That's me.

Amy: Well, if you're nervous about the sleeping arrangements, maybe we should talk about it.
Sheldon: Okay. Talk.
Amy: Well, I imagine one of your concerns might be coital expectations.
Sheldon: Wow, no foreplay or anything, just right to it.
Amy: Look, I know this experiment is a big step outside of your comfort zone. So why don't we take being physical off the table and maybe later on, once we're more settled in, we can revisit it.
Sheldon: You're really okay with that?
Amy: I've never lived with someone, either. This is a lot for me, too.

Sheldon: Oh, don't forget. Tuesday the air filters need to be changed.
Penny: Yeah, you wrote it on my hand.

Sheldon: Oh, and every other day, check the water level on the avocado pit.
Leonard: I'm on it. Fifteen years from now, we'll make guacamole together.