Raj: I don't know. If I want to watch old people sweat, I can just FaceTime my family in India.

Stuart: It's nice you and Bernadette are getting away.
Howard: Well, she wants us to spend more time together before the baby comes.
Stuart: So then what are you doing here buying comic books?
Howard: Well, he (Raj) wants us to spend more time together before the baby comes.

Sheldon: Well, as a male, I have an evolutionary drive to perpetuate my DNA. Restricting myself to a single partner is against my nature.
Amy: We sleep together once a year! You want other partners?
Sheldon: Don't blame me. Blame your pal, biology. He's the pervert pulling the strings here.

Amy: You wanna see other people? Go see other people.
Penny: I hope one of those people is a monkey, 'cause this is bananas.
Leonard: Hey, you can make jokes, but if this keeps up, he's gonna move back in here.

Penny: Well, let's just get them apart for a while so they can cool down.
Leonard: Good. Then before we reintroduce them, we'll give him one of her sweaters so he can get used to her scent again.
Penny: So it's okay for you to joke around?
Leonard: No, that's actually what we did with him when Howard came back from space.

Howard: Who's ready for a hot, three-hour car ride to the desert?
Bernadette: Next vomit is gonna be in your lap.
Howard: I'm sorry. We don't have to go.
Bernadette: But it's our last chance to take a vacation that's just the two of us.
Howard: How 'bout we stay here? We don't even have to tell anyone. It'll be like a secret vacation at home.

Bernadette: Keeping secrets from our friends. That does sound kinda fun.
Howard: Does it sound sexy?
Bernadette: You just heard me throwing up.
Howard: You bet I did.
Bernadette: You're so weird.
Howard: You know what's weird? How turned on you are right now.

Sheldon: You know, people are quick to accuse me of being difficult to live with, but the truth is, Amy is just as challenging.
Penny: Just as challenging.
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: As you.
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: Just as challenging as you?

Sheldon: Do you know that when I get out of the shower, she eyes me up and down like I'm a piece of meat?
Penny: You know, so does Leonard. Can't I just get ready in the morning without him giving me his goofy thumbs-up? "Hey. (chuckles)"
Sheldon: Sometimes I would just like to be appreciated for my mind.
Penny: Agreed! Thank you!

Howard: Is that the hot tub?
Bernadette: Who would use our hot tub?
Howard: Well, the answer is both more and less disturbing than you think.
Bernadette: Who is it?
Howard: Stuart.

Howard: He heard me talking about us going away. I guess he decided to invite himself over?
Bernadette: Should we say something to him?
Howard: Maybe. How 'bout, "Hey, you look like a boiled chicken breast"?
Bernadette: I meant like, "What are you doing here?"
Howard: Nah, that's not gonna hurt his feelings.

Amy: Why is nothing easy with him?
Leonard: Look, here's the thing you need to understand about Sheldon, he's the worst.
Amy: I prefer to think of it as high-maintenance.
Leonard: I prefer to think of myself as 5' 10", but I still need to get all my pants hemmed.

Amy: I guess I should have known what I was getting myself into.
Leonard: Don't beat yourself up. You've never lived with anyone before.
Amy: That's true.
Leonard: And you're starting out with Sheldon Cooper. That's like getting your first pet and having it be- I don't know. What's a kind of pet that ruins your life?

Amy: He put a sign up in the bathroom that says, "Number of days without Amy's hair on the soap."
Leonard: Yeah, my record was six.

Bernadette: Is it me, or is there something fun about watching him just float there?
Howard: Maybe this is why people get fish tanks.