Leonard: So, what are you guys gonna do today?
Amy: Well, Sheldon was supposed to go to this party with me this afternoon, but I don't think that's happening.
Sheldon: Oh, that was never happening.

Penny: Oh, I'll go. I like a party.
Amy: Well, to be honest, it's not like a "party" party. It's more like a gathering where scientists of different disciplines get together to share their work and keep current on what's going on in other fields. I don't know why I called it a party, sorry.

Howard: Thanks again for breakfast.
Raj: Well, I didn't get to see you last night. It was the least I could do.
Bernadette: (To Howard) You shouldn't have made the alarm code his birthday.

Raj: So, what should we do today?
Bernadette: Oh, I appreciate it, but you don't have to spend your day off with me.
Raj: Well, I don't mind. Oh, you want go to the mall and look at baby stuff?
Bernadette: Not really.
Raj: Oh, come on, we could share a pretzel and get sideways glances from racist old ladies.
Bernadette: I get enough of that when I take Howard to my grandmother's for Christmas.

Raj: Oh, I know, why don't we get started on clearing out the baby's room?
Bernadette: Isn't it a little early for that?
Raj: You have to get to it eventually.
Bernadette: Oh, there's so much junk in there, it's embarrassing.
Raj: How can you be embarrassed around me? I'm gonna be in the room with you when you give birth.
Bernadette: I don't think you are.
Raj: You didn't think I was gonna be in your kitchen this morning, yet here I am.

The Flash: But if you ever want to feel like you have superpowers, try one of these.
Sheldon: Superheroes take performance-enhancing chemicals?
The Flash: You bet. You know why Hulk is so strong? Steroids. You know why Batman wanders around at night getting into fights? Scotch.

The Flash: Here, it's on the house.
Sheldon: The first one's free? Flash, how do you stay in business?
The Flash: You want to know my secret? I bought stock in Marvel.

Amy: Hi, Bert. This is my friend, Penny.
Penny: Hi.
Bert: Hey, come on in. I'll go turn on some rock music.
Amy: (chuckles) That's a geology joke. Bert's a geologist.
Bert: And a joker.

Bernadette: I don't even know where to begin.
Raj: Well, in The Sound of Music, Julie Andrews says, "Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start."
Bernadette: Oh, I was gonna start at the end. Thank God you're here.

Bernadette: I should probably keep this in case we have a girl.
Raj: Oh, that's a nice one. Was it yours when you were little?
Bernadette: My dad built it for me.
Raj: Wow, it's so cute.
Bernadette: This was the husband and this was the wife. They'd go out on adventures together. Cruises, skiing, horseback riding. That was really me just duct taping them to our dog.
Raj: Oh, and did they have kids?
Bernadette: They did, but the mommy and daddy didn't like them, so they shipped them off to an orphanage I made out of a shoebox.
Raj: Yeah, that's not worrisome at all.

Bernadette: Not every girl dreams about being a mom. Sometimes you think you're never gonna have kids and one day you wake up and you're pregnant. And it doesn't matter that your career's going great right now and that you and your husband never even got to go anywhere taped to a dog!

Howard: Why is it taking him so long to get a drink out of a vending machine?
Leonard: Oh, it's complicated. He finds pushing that little door and reaching up into the machine uncomfortably intimate.

Sheldon: Gentlemen, I am ready to work. To quote The Martian, "Let's science the feces out of this!" That's "The Martian" the book and "The Martian" the movie, not Marvin the Martian. Although to quote Marvin the Martian, "I claim this planet in the name of Mars."

Sheldon: Are you okay? Oh, I'm fantastic, never been better. I had my first energy drink and I feel great. Hey, you guys want to wrestle? We can do arm, thumb, mud, sumo. Nah, we're not fat enough, or wearing diapers.

Penny: So should we talk to each other or mingle?
Amy: I don't know where everyone is.
Penny: Yeah, I mean, I could see him eating one or two guests, but not a whole party.