Raj: Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home.
Penny: Oh, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out?

Amy: I guess I guess we should stop.
Sheldon: Yeah, I'm afraid so. Childbirth, looming coitus? This is a banner night for female genitals.

Sheldon: This is for you. I was going to wrap it, but touching Scotch tape gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Amy: I'll put in on the list with peaches and felt.

Amy: What is this?
Sheldon: A functional MRI of my brain. I did Sudoku before they took it so I'd be ripped.
Amy: I love it. Thank you.
Sheldon: And it's not just an MRI. The orbitofrontal cortex is lit up because I was thinking of you.

Penny: She said not to come. It's gonna be a while.
Amy: (sighs) Well, first deliveries can be slow.
Sheldon: I am starting to rethink the Flash onesie I bought this kid.

Howard: She would've been the best grandma.
Bernadette: She did always have candy in her pocket.
Howard: Yeah. I was 20 years old before I figured out Tootsie Rolls weren't naturally warm.

Amy: All right, you can open your eyes. I thought I'd let Harry Potter make things hotter.

Amy: What's wrong?
Sheldon: I'm not sure. Earlier tonight, things began organically, and now it's feeling forced, like all the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels.

Sheldon: I admire you, Leonard.
Leonard: Really, why?
Sheldon: You're happy with who you are. You don't get jealous of other people. Instead of being weighed down by ambition, you just float along like a dead body in a river.
Leonard: I couldn't just take the compliment. I had to ask why.

Raj: Well, I'm glad to see you moving forward.
Sheldon: Bert did quality research. And he deserves whatever accolades he receives.
Howard: What is going on? (To Leonard) Did you upgrade his software last night?
Leonard: I think he might be learning on his own.
Raj: Then the robot uprising has begun.

Sheldon: Oh, now, what about our 3-D chess set?
Leonard: Let me guess, you want it.
Sheldon: Well, no, I just didn't think you'd want a physical reminder of a game you never managed to win. As a kindness, I should probably take all the games.

Sheldon: If it's like your 3-D chess game, then you're out of your length, width and depth. Amy, get the Neosporin, somebody just got burned.

Leonard: All right, I tried.
Sheldon: "All right, I tried." That should be the title of your autobiography. Ooh, a second-degree burn.

Amy: I've got the Neosporin. Who got hurt?
Sheldon: It's a good thing you're cute.

Howard: It's like we have a butler. If I had a Batsuit I'd be Bruce Wayne.
Bernadette: You have a Batsuit.
Howard: It's pajamas, there's no cape.