Sheldon: Shall we?
Raj: Oh, my God. It's light, it's flaky, it's buttery. You don't need to have sex with him, just eat one of these.

Penny: Oh, that's a nice offer.
Zack: You know, we'd make a great team. Or as we say in the menu business, I can't do this without Me N U.
Penny: Right, 'cause it spells "menu."
Zack: Yeah, right? It's funny. I got a lot of menu jokes, but that's my favorite.

Amy: Okay, fine, let's say you never win a Nobel Prize. Let's say you spend your life doing solid scientific research surrounded by friends and loved ones who appreciate you, not for what you've accomplished but for who you are as a man. Wouldn't that be a life well-lived?
Sheldon: You're so cute. I'm going to go learn how to walk on stilts.
Amy: So many warnings.

Penny: Hey, you ready to go?
Leonard: Yeah, I guess.
Penny: What's the matter?
Leonard: Honestly? It's a little strange having dinner with your ex-boyfriend, and it's not like we have a lot to talk about.
Penny: What? He loves you, okay? And he's interested in your work. You could talk about the infinite perspective -- I swear I know it.

Sheldon: What happened to me? I used to excel at these things.
Howard: Kids are always better at video games.
Sheldon: Well, I don't like it.
Leonard: If it makes you feel better, you still dress like a child.

Zack: How about you? Hey, how's Leonard? Is he still smart?
Penny: Yes, yes, he's working for the government on an infinite persistence gyroscope. Of course, the first time I say it right, he's not even here.

Sheldon: I've been thinking about our recent humiliation.
Leonard: You're gonna have to be more specific.
Sheldon: At the hands of those teenagers.
Leonard: More.
Sheldon: Boy teenagers.
Leonard: Oh, the video game. Yeah, that was bad.

Amy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm returning this stuff to Howard.
Amy: Oh, Bernadette made me promise if you didn't want it, we'd give it to a homeless clown.

Bernadette: So you wanted to learn something physical and you came to Howard Wolowitz?

Howard: Okay, challenge them again.
Leonard: Doing it right now. Oh, they can't. There's an important Little League game tomorrow.
Howard: No wonder they beat us, they're jocks.

Penny: Hey, where's your fiance?
Zack: Oh, she couldn't make it. She had an emergency.
Penny: Oh, no, what happened?
Zack: I didn't ask.

Leonard: We're pinned down!
Howard: We can't get through!
Raj: Sheldon, get over here and help!
Sheldon: Okay, one second.
Leonard: Sheldon, why are you jumping up and down?
Sheldon: I'm trying to shoot.
Howard: Then use the shoot button, not the "wonderful thing about Tiggers" button!

Howard: I can't believe you made fun of me all these years while you were a closeted ventriloquist.
Bernadette: Okay, it's not like I wanted to be a ventriloquist. I was in beauty pageants and I needed a talent besides spreading rumors that the other contestants were pregnant.

Amy: Have you tried letting go of the rope?
Sheldon: What, are you crazy? I'm on a unicycle.
Amy: All right, well, have fun.
Sheldon: Wait, I need help getting down.
Amy: Well, what do you want me to do?
Sheldon: Drag out our mattress and put it over here, then go across the hall, get their mattress and put it over here. But before you do any of that, scratch my nose.

Zack: Do you have a bodyguard to keep spies away?
Leonard: I have Sheldon, that keeps most people away.
Zack: I miss that guy. He's like the Swedish Chef Muppet. I don't know what he's saying, but he's funny.
Leonard: Oh, I know what he's saying, and he's not, he's not funny.