Leonard: Sheldon, you're being silly.
Sheldon: Am I? Yesterday I had an Air Force project, a girlfriend who lived with me, and my good friend Raj right across the hall.
Leonard: Do you really care about that last one?
Sheldon: No, but that list was sounding a little thin.

Howard: Well, why would you do that?
Colonel Williams: You guys completed phase one, we'll take it from here.
Sheldon: Where did you move it?
Colonel Williams: I can't tell you that.
Leonard: Are you implementing phase two?
Colonel Williams: I can't tell you that.
Sheldon: Wait, so you're just going to take all the work we've done for the last year and toss us aside?
Colonel Williams: That one I can tell you, yes.
Howard: This is all very upsetting.
Colonel Williams: I'm sorry to hear that. As you know, the primary focus of the United States military is people's feelings.
Sheldon: If that's sarcasm, please save it for our enemies.

Sheldon: All right, then. Let's go to the bedroom, remove our clothes, fold them neatly, and engage in frenzied lovemaking.
Amy: What if we don't fold our clothes at all.
Sheldon: I d- ... or what if we fold them?

Leonard: So, are you excited to have your own place again?
Raj: I am, but I'll miss you guys.
Leonard: Ah, we'll miss you, too.
Raj: Well, you could try saying that without smiling.
Leonard: I'm trying. This is the best I can do.

Raj: I really can't thank you enough for taking me in. You know, I was in a pretty low place in my life, and-
Sheldon: (from across the hall) Oh, Amy, you naughty vixen.
Raj: Anyway, uh, as I was saying, I was at a pretty low place in my life and, uh, if it wasn't for friends like you-
Amy: (from across the hall) My goodness, that form of stimulation is highly efficient.
Raj: I can't compete with that.

Amy: Does this mean you're okay with me going?
Sheldon: Well, I'm not looking forward to it, but it is a wonderful opportunity and you need to take it. Besides, Princeton is in New Jersey, so it's not like you're gonna want to stay.

Zack: How about you? Hey, how's Leonard? Is he still smart?
Penny: Yes, yes, he's working for the government on an infinite persistence gyroscope. Of course, the first time I say it right, he's not even here.

Penny: Come on, I spent an entire plane ride with you talking about the trailer for Deadpool 2.
Leonard: Ha! I knew you weren't asleep.

Penny: Oh, that's a nice offer.
Zack: You know, we'd make a great team. Or as we say in the menu business, I can't do this without Me N U.
Penny: Right, 'cause it spells "menu."
Zack: Yeah, right? It's funny. I got a lot of menu jokes, but that's my favorite.

Penny: Uh, what's new?
Zack: Oh, tons of stuff. Put artificial grass in my backyard, got engaged, had a scary mole that turned out to be Sharpie.
Penny: Well, congratulations.
Zack: That's what my dermatologist said.
Penny: No, on getting engaged, good for you.
Zack: Oh, thanks.

Leonard: We're pinned down!
Howard: We can't get through!
Raj: Sheldon, get over here and help!
Sheldon: Okay, one second.
Leonard: Sheldon, why are you jumping up and down?
Sheldon: I'm trying to shoot.
Howard: Then use the shoot button, not the "wonderful thing about Tiggers" button!

Sheldon: Shall we?
Raj: Oh, my God. It's light, it's flaky, it's buttery. You don't need to have sex with him, just eat one of these.

Penny: Hey, you ready to go?
Leonard: Yeah, I guess.
Penny: What's the matter?
Leonard: Honestly? It's a little strange having dinner with your ex-boyfriend, and it's not like we have a lot to talk about.
Penny: What? He loves you, okay? And he's interested in your work. You could talk about the infinite perspective -- I swear I know it.

Sheldon: Amy, look, I'm on a unicycle!
Amy: How did you get from croissants to a unicycle?
Sheldon: I hurt myself juggling.

Amy: Okay, fine, let's say you never win a Nobel Prize. Let's say you spend your life doing solid scientific research surrounded by friends and loved ones who appreciate you, not for what you've accomplished but for who you are as a man. Wouldn't that be a life well-lived?
Sheldon: You're so cute. I'm going to go learn how to walk on stilts.
Amy: So many warnings.