Amy: Hey, whatever kind of pink eye their kids have, I have, and I need to know. And if it's viral, I'm screwed.
Howard: Maybe not. You know, I know it's not traditional wedding attire, but how about a welder's mask?
Raj: If you know a welder, that could be your "something borrowed".

Penny: Hey, how'd it go?
Leonard: Well, apparently he's not leaving and I have to go get him sparkling water.
Penny: Why are you smiling?
Leonard: I don't know. It just feels right.

Sheldon: No I'm not annoyed that she's a woman. I'm annoyed, and she's a woman.
Amy: No, I get that. I'm annoyed and I'm a woman.

Bernadette: When I went by the office they gave me coffee and cookies and no one peed on me. I miss that so much.

Sheldon: Yeah, not to brag, but Amy's last birthday brought my coital tally up to four.
Leonard: Whatever you're doing, it's not bragging.

Leonard: So, Penny's your favorite?
Beverly Hofstadter: I suppose she is. You married well, Leonard, and for that I am proud of you.
Leonard: I don't- I don't- I don't know what to say.
Beverly Hofstadter: I'm also proud of how hard you're trying not to cry.
Leonard: (choking up) Thank you.
Beverly Hofstadter: Would you like to hang up now?
Leonard: Yeah, here it comes.

Sheldon: Hey, good news, Amy. We got the Athenaeum.
Amy: Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. How'd you get Barry to change his mind?
Sheldon: Well, I couldn't have done it without Leonard. Boy, you should've seen us in there. We were like Batman and Robin.
Leonard: Why do I have to be Robin?
Sheldon: If you have to ask, you're Robin.

Amy: It's so nice to meet you.
Missy: ­Aw.
Amy: I've always wanted a sister.
Sheldon: Really? Why?
Missy: I love you, too, Sheldon.
Leonard: Really? Why?

Bernadette: Wow, you're really good at this.
Raj: Oh, please. This isn't my first time turning girl clothes into boy clothes.
Bernadette: Why? You got your sister's hand-me-downs?
Raj: (unconvincingly) Yeah, that.

Sheldon: Oh, he's invited me to his cabin for the weekend, to discuss a breakthrough he's had.
Howard: His cabin?
Sheldon: Yes. He lives off the grid, up in the mountains.
Leonard: So you're gonna go to the middle of nowhere and spend the weekend with a crazy man you've never met?
Sheldon: Yes. Why?
Leonard: No reason. Have fun.

Raj: Boy, seeing them all together like that has got my biological clock ticking like crazy.
Penny: Yeah, I don't think men have-
Raj: I do.

Leonard: Well, look, we don't fly out until the morning. Why don't I try and talk to him, give it one more shot?
Sheldon: All right. But if he says, "Nerd says what", don't answer him.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You are a lamb to the slaughter.

Penny: Hey, this isn't your laundry night.
Sheldon: I know. Laundry on a Wednesday. It's the madness my life has become.

Sheldon: On the other hand, shaming Leonard during our wedding at the very place he betrayed me does have a beautiful symmetry to it.
Amy: That's nice, it'll be your first petty act as a married man.

Penny: Why is this sleep-talking thing bothering you anyway?
Sheldon: It's simple. I don't like the idea that my mind might be keeping an entire personality from me.
Dr. Jekyll's other personality was Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde. Didn't have a postgraduate degree.