Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, which one of you figured it out?
Howard: I did.
Sheldon: Impressive. [rubs out Howard's score on the leaderboard]

Sheldon: Okay, first, we need to roll to determine the weather.
Bernadette: It's a desert. Isn't it gonna be hot?
Sheldon: (rolling dice, looking at the manual, rolling dice again, looking at the manual again) ... Yes.

Leonard: Did Sheldon and Amy give you guys that puzzle, too?
Howard: Yeah. Is it just me or have they been acting strange?
Leonard: I don't think they're acting.

Bernadette: Ah, come on!
Sheldon: Welcome to the next five to eight weeks of your life.
Bernadette: Sheldon, I said I didn't want to play your game.
Sheldon: Well, then don't think of it as a game. Think of it as a source of information about one of the lesser known campaigns of World War II.
Bernadette: You're right. That's so much better.
Sheldon: I know, right?

Bernadette: Come on, baby. Get out here right now and I'll buy you a pony.

Leonard: And the noise complaint we got for singing you"Happy Birthday"?
Sheldon: As a friend, I was touched. As a representative of the building, I thought that you should pick a key and stick with it.

Sheldon: Hello.
Bernadette: Let me guess. You're here to try to get me to go into labor.
Sheldon: Oh, please. I'm disgusted when people sneeze, and that's just stuff coming out of their nose.

Amy: Why didn't you tell me?
Sheldon: 'Cause I wanted to make sure that you loved the man, not the office.

Penny: Okay, we go down and back up. ... And back up!
Bernadette: Yeah, hearing you is not the problem.

Leonard: You can't just declare yourself president.
Sheldon: I didn't. I called a meeting, I was the only one to attend. I nominated myself, and after a pretty moving speech, I voted myself in.

Sheldon: See, see. Look at my Netflix queue. There's two documentaries and the movie Friends with Benefits, which I thought was a documentary about employer health care plans.

Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Am I being too loud?
Leonard: No, you're being perfect and you know it.
Sheldon: Would you like me to be a less considerate tenant?
Leonard: No. Yes. What? Stop messing with me!

Leonard: Okay, I'm really uncomfortable with him back in that room.
Penny: Why? He hasn't made a peep all day.
Leonard: You don't get it. All the years that we lived together, he drove me crazy the whole time.
Penny: And now he's not.
Leonard: Exactly. Don't look at me like that. It-it-it means he did it on purpose. It was a choice. That-That's like finding out Godzilla could've had Arby's instead of Tokyo.

Sheldon: Maybe we're being old-fashioned, defining these roles by gender. You know, historically, the best man's role was to defend the bride and groom in combat. I mean, if that's not Penny, I don't know what we're doing here.

Sheldon: So, listen, I have a secret that I need to tell someone. But you can never say a word. Not even to Howard.
Bernadette: I'm your girl. Lay it on me.
Sheldon: Really? You keep things from your husband?
Bernadette: No, I tell him everything. Don't be a child.