Raj: Hey, uh, who's free tonight?
Leonard: Oh, I think I'm-
Sheldon: Hang on. We've made this mistake before. It's how we wound up at his cousin Deepak's Tupperware party.
Raj: Hey, you use that collapsible bowl all the time, and you know it.

Sheldon: Oh, so they would act as natural dark matter detectors.
Raj: That sounds interesting.
Sheldon: It does, but it's still geology. Sorry, Bert, I don't have time to play rocks with you.

Sheldon: Thank you for asking. Unfortunately, I have real science to do. But you feel free to rock on. (To Leonard) That's how you do it.

Leonard: Sheldon, what are you doing? Bert's one of the top guys in his field.
Sheldon: And somewhere there's a mime who's top in his field, but you don't see me rushing to collaborate with him on new ways to be stuck in a box.
Howard: Also something I would watch instead of cricket.

Ruchi: Arre uske taang pay ball kar!
Howard: What'd she say?
Raj: Uske taang pay ball kar.
Howard: Oh, that clears that up.
Raj: Well, no, she's telling the bowler to bowl a yorker. It's the most brutal ball in cricket.
Ruchi: I was at the match when Shoaib bowled back-to-back yorkers.
Raj: Well, I was there, too! What a coincidence!
Ruchi: Well, there were 120,000 people at that match, so-
Raj: Yeah, India, right? Everywhere you go, there's, like, 120,000 people.

Bernadette: (off-screen) Howard! Can you help me to the bathroom?!
Howard: Well, at least the romance is still alive.

Amy: What you got there?
Sheldon: A rock.
Amy: Did some mean boys throw it at you?
Sheldon: It turns out I'm the mean boy. Although I did drop it on my own foot, so kind of.

Ruchi: I was supposed to go back to India and get married, but I realized it wasn't what I wanted. So I called off the engagement and moved out here.
Raj: Well, if he wasn't your soul mate, he wasn't your soul mate.
Ruchi: Oh, God, please tell me you're not one of those.
Raj: One of whats?
Ruchi: I want to say teenage girls, but that sounds mean.

Raj: Come on, you don't believe that everyone has one perfect match?
Ruchi: Of course not. That's ridiculous. I mean, what if your soul mate lived halfway across the world? You'd never meet.
Raj: Yes, you would. I can give you, like, 20 examples where that happened to Kate Hudson alone.

Raj: Love isn't just science. Okay? It's-it's spiritual. It's an acknowledgment of a mystery that's greater than ourselves. It's what makes people write songs and poems, and what has kept The Bachelor on TV for 21 magical seasons.
Ruchi: Don't you think the fact that love is given away as a prize on a game show slightly undermines your argument?
Raj: Uh, yes. But I've never missed an episode, and I dare science to explain that.

Sheldon: Leonard, what are you doing here?
Leonard: Bert asked for my help.
Bert: Yeah, he's an excellent scientist, and he doesn't tell me what time I can go to the bathroom.
Sheldon: It's called bladder training. When you're in your 80s, you'll thank me for it.

Leonard: So you just shut the door in his face? I got to start writing this stuff down.

Raj: I mean, Ruchi's nice. We're just so different.
Howard: I know. Sometimes when you're dating, you meet weird people.
Bernadette: I once met a girl who didn't like juggling. And she still doesn't.

Leonard: Tesla was a genius who invented our electrical grid. Edison just wanted to get rich and famous.
Penny: Didn't he invent the lightbulb?
Sheldon: That's what he wants you to think. But without the foundational work of Ebenezer Kinnersley, Warren de la Rue and James Bowman Lindsay, you wouldn't know Edison any more than you know Ebenezer Kinnersley, Warren de la Rue or James Bowman Lindsay.
Amy: Isn't he sexy all fired up? He really gets my current alternating, if you know what I mean.

Sheldon: It's fine. I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to.
Leonard: What does that mean?
Penny: Leonard! Sad face, sad face.
Sheldon: I mean, I would like to, but I just can't, you know, because it's classified and top secret.
Leonard: Hold on, are you still working for the military?
Sheldon: I'm so glad you figured that out! It was killing me keeping it a secret.