Bernadette: Where are you going?
Howard: Gift shop.
Bernadette: There is no gift shop. Sit down.

Bernadette: This was your idea.
Howard: So was having sex, and look where that got us.
Bernadette: This isn't a big deal. Stop whining.
Howard: When you were in labor and I said that, you kicked me.

Bernadette: Want me to go with you?
Howard: No, I'll be fine.
Raj: (standing up to go with Howard) Yeah, we got this.
Howard: Sit down!

Amy: Okay, you ready?
Sheldon: Yeah, almost. I'm working on my facial expressions. See, uh, I've got interested. Hmm.
I've got very interested. Hmm.
Oh, and, uh, enraged.
Amy: Why would you be enraged?
Sheldon: Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Amy: And rolling.
Sheldon: Hello. I am theoretical physicist, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, auditioning for the role of Professor Proton.
Now, excuse me while I get into character. (Turns around and back. In the same monotonous voice) Hello, I am Professor Proton.

Sheldon: And today, boys and girls, we're going to have fun with science. Did you know you could calculate the mass of an electron using household items? It's true. All you'll need is a pencil, some paper, dry ice, rubbing alcohol, and a spool of 50-micron-thick cobalt-60 wire. And, remember, don't put it in your mouth, or instead of becoming a scientist, you'll become wildly radioactive.

Amy: Hang on, I have a question. Do you have any experiments that aren't life-threatening?
Sheldon: Come on! That was a perfect take, and you ruined it. Oh, look! Hey, I did need enraged.

Howard: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Raj: Really hurts, huh?
Bernadette: No. He's just saying, "Ow can these prices be so low?".

Bernadette: It's gonna be okay. A day or two of rest, and you'll be fine.
Howard: You know nothing about Jewish people.

Raj: It says here that I need to check the area for redness and swelling.
Howard: You know what? It hurts so much, go ahead.

Sheldon: So the next time someone on the playground tells you you can only use integral values for the matrix that determines the spin of the anti-proton, you stop being friends with that kid, 'cause he's going nowhere.

Sheldon: Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, 01000010 01111001 01100101. That's "Bye" in ASCII binary, or good-binary.

Sheldon: So, what do you think?
Amy: Well, I already told him that I loved it, but if you found it confusing or dangerous or, I don't know, three to four times too long, now is the time to share.

Penny: I don't know what to say. Leonard, do you know what to say?
Leonard: Sheldon, uh, I thought it, uh, it looked like you were having so much fun.
Sheldon: Hey, that's what you used to tell me to say to Penny after one of her terrible plays.
Penny: Hey! (Penny slaps Leonard)
Leonard: Hey!

Amy: Well, what was wrong with it? You know, did you find it borderline psychotic? I mean, I liked that about it, but you guys discuss.