Stuart: Actually, I own my own store. Uh, if you'd like to check it out sometime, I'm running a new promotion: buy anything, get taken out for a reasonably priced dinner.
Raj: Yeah, yeah, Stuart's struggling financially. But he doesn't let that get him down. He believes in himself. Even though the whole world has made it clear he should not.

Ruchi: Well, moving to a new city was a little scary, but the job seems great. Everyone's really nice.
Bernadette: Oh, they are. Super nice. I mean, only one of them took you out tonight, but it's not a competition.

Raj: Bernie!
Bernadette: Oh, damn.
Stuart: Hey! What are the odds?
Bernadette: Yeah, seren-frickin'-dipity.

Raj: Hello. Rajesh.
Stuart: Stuart.
Ruchi: Hi. Ruchi.
Bernadette: Ruchi is my coworker. But that was probably in your briefing packet.

Amy: So, you guys lived with Sheldon for a long time-
Leonard: Long time.
Penny: So very long.
Leonard: By the way, congratulations again on your engagement.
Penny: Yeah, you got a good one.

Amy: So, it's strange, Sheldon was talking in his sleep last night, and he seemed like a totally different person. He was relaxed and loose and calm.
Leonard: Well, Sheldon's a complicated man.
Amy: He said "whatev."
Leonard: Give him a brain scan, that might be a tumor.

Penny: Well, maybe this is a part of Sheldon's personality he's been repressing. I mean, I think we dream about things we wish we could be in real life.
Amy: Really? What do you dream about?
Penny: Oh. Uh, being the wife of Leonard. Mostly that.
Leonard: I choose to believe you.

Amy: Well, as much as we've studied the brain, there's still a lot we don't know about dreams and their function. You know, even psychologists are divided on it.
Leonard: Mm, it's true. Freud thought dreams were about sex, Adler thought they were about dominance-
Penny: Then again, mine are just about being married to this little guy.
Leonard: Well, now it's just edging into mockery.

Sheldon: Good morning.
Amy: Good morning. I know today is Apple Jacks day, but we're all out.
Sheldon: That's fine. I'll have anything.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: Yeah. You know whatev.
Amy: "Whatev"? I like this side of you.
Sheldon: You know what I like? Smooth jazz. (plays "Feels So Good")
-Amy wakes up in bed next to Sheldon, who is humming the same tune-

Bernadette: Hey, just a reminder, I'm going out for drinks after work.
Howard: Oh. Great. Just a reminder, you're pregnant.
Bernadette: I'm not drinking, just taking a new coworker out.
Howard: Oh. Just a reminder, you're married.
Bernadette: Female coworker. She's new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. And let her know the office is full of liars before everyone tells her I'm mean.

Howard: Is she single?
Bernadette: I'm not setting her up with Raj.
Howard: What about Stuart?
Bernadette: Are you listening? I want her to think I'm not mean.
Howard: Okay. Well, it's just we have two single friends.
Bernadette: Howie, I just met this woman. Why don't I wait a little and get to know her? Maybe I won't like her, and then I'd be happy to ruin her life with Stuart or Raj.
Howard: That's all I ask.

Sheldon: Some news of our wedding. I have sent you all a "save the date" e-mail.
Penny: Oh, exciting. You guys picked a date?
Sheldon: Better. I picked 80 dates. And I need you to save them all until we narrow it down.

Howard: It's a date. Just pick one.
Sheldon: It's not just a date, it's a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date. Just like there's a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert.
Penny: Mm. There's no perfect dessert.
Sheldon: Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching. You'll see. You'll have it at our wedding.
Amy: You wanna bet?

Sheldon: You give me enough time, I can do the same thing with a wedding date. It needs to be on the weekend, uh, not near any of your birthdays, or the weekend of Comic Con.
Leonard: Ooh, you could get married at Comic Con.
Amy, Penny and Bernadette: No!

Amy: We just need a weekend date that's completely boring and uneventful.
Bernadette: Too bad you didn't get your ducks in a row, 'cause tonight would have been perfect.