Howard: Okay, let's talk about something that won't infuriate my pregnant wife.
Raj: I read an interesting fact about elephants.
Howard: Try again.

Leonard: Oh, I've got something. I'm being interviewed on public radio this Friday.
Howard: Oh, cool. How come?
Leonard: Uh, the university is trying to get more funding for the physics department, so they want me to go out and talk it up.
Sheldon: Really? You? (Amy whispers to Sheldon) Well, they picked the right person for the job.
Leonard: Thank you.
Sheldon: (To Amy) I think he bought it.

Ira Flatow: Hi, I'm Ira Flatow, and this is Science Friday. Joining me today is my guest physicist, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, to talk about all of the exciting research they're doing at Cal Tech.
Leonard: Thank you for having me. Whoa (chuckles) Could never get used to hearing myself in headphones. Is that really how I sound?
Ira Flatow: (chuckles) It is. It is.
Leonard: (deep voice): That is good to know.

Sheldon: I told him his voice was annoying. He didn't want to listen.
Penny: Hey!
Sheldon: You're saying it's not?
Penny: Just ... hey.

Ira Flatow: So, it has been five years since the discovery of the Higgs boson. What's the next big thing gonna be?
Leonard: Wow, that's hard to say. There's so much going on. We've been collecting tons of data that could revolutionize the way we understand the universe. For instance, there's a particle called a squark, which could prove super-symmetry.
Ira Flatow: That is interesting. Have you found it?
Leonard: What, the squark?
Ira Flatow: Yes.
Leonard: No, no. Wouldn't that be exciting? But we're also looking for the selectron, the gluino and the neutralino.
Ira Flatow: Well, and have you found that?
Leonard: No.

Leonard: Another fun sidenote, I went to high school with a girl named Theresa Gluino, but it didn't cost $2 billion to find her. She was smoking behind the gym.

Bernadette: Should he be saying that?
Raj: Uh, probably not.
Howard: Yeah, this is public radio. Doesn't he realize that dozens of people might hear him?

Howard: There's Leonard. I'll bet he's having a rough day.
Raj: Let's just try to be supportive.
Sheldon: Supportive? He publicly maligned the love of my life, Lady Physics.
Howard: You might not want to mention that to Lady Fiance.

Leonard: Hey, guys.
Raj: Hey, how's it going?
Sheldon: Pff.
Leonard: What? You got something to say?
Sheldon: I think I just said it. P-F-F. Pff!

Leonard: Look, I was just speaking the truth. We're scientists. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?
Sheldon: Oh, what would you know about the truth? You thought Phantom Menace was "not half bad."
Leonard: I told you that in confidence!

Raj: Okay, calm down. Everybody just cool it.
Howard: No, let 'em go. If we get lucky, maybe one of them will start crying.

Leonard: Uh, can we just drop this and have lunch like adults?
Howard: Fine.
Sheldon: Very well. Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Pff!

Bernadette: I'm surprised Sheldon's not up here playing with all your new toys.
Amy: Actually, I haven't told him about it. We've been getting so much more funding than physics, he's been a little sensitive.
Bernadette: So you're just gonna hide your success from him?
Amy: I know. Am I terrible?
Bernadette: No. I do that, too! Howie thought my company retreat was in Boise? It was in Tahiti.

Amy: That's such a relief. I mean, part of me was worried I was being unfair to Sheldon.
Bernadette: Take that part of yourself and hide it away. Just like I did with last year's bonus check that I didn't get.

Leonard: Ms. Davis, you wanted to see me?
Ms. Davis: Yes, Dr. Hofstadter, come on in.
Leonard: Should I sit or stand? I'm not used to being called into the dean's office.
Ms. Davis: Please, sit.
Leonard: I have to say I'm a little nervous.
Ms. Davis: You should be.