Danny: You've done a terrific job with Inflaminex. We're always on the lookout for great salespeople. I think we could make you happy.
Penny: Uh, thanks, but I'm pretty happy.
Karen: I could be more happy.
Penny: Tell it to your shrink, Karen.

Bernadette: Hey, Howie, everything okay?
Howard: Yeah, everything's great. I was just wondering if we had any large barbecue tongs.
Bernadette: Uh, bottom left drawer. Are you guys grilling?
Howard: Nope, just playing games with the kids.
Bernadette: Why do you need tongs?
Howard: Love you, too, bye.

Leonard: Hey, you guys want to make this more interesting?
Sheldon: By establishing a double-blind protocol so we have a foundation to publish? Yes.

Bernadette: So what did he want?
Penny: Nothing.
Karen: He offered her a job.
Bernadette: No one likes a tattletale, Karen. So, what's up, traitor?
Penny: Dammit, Karen.

Bernadette: Don't be so naive. They're our number one competitor. They have a rival drug coming out with a name I wish we thought of. Forsootha. It's got "soothe" right in it. How did we miss that?

Howard: Okay, you want to engage the babies.
Sheldon: The subjects.
Howard: The babies.
Sheldon: Fine. The babies. Baby-A and Baby-B.

Raj: Sheldon, he's a baby. That's not how you talk to him, okay? Just watch. [cutesy] Hey. Halley. [baby talk] Who's your favorite uncle?
Halley: [giggles] Unka Koo.
Sheldon: I got a dud, let's switch.
Amy: Keep trying. It's for science.

Howard: Engage them for a minute and take note of their reactions.
Leonard: There's something familiar about all this.
Howard: Okay, go.
Sheldon: Hello, baby. Are you having a pleasant day?
Leonard: Oh, my G-- This is my entire childhood.
Sheldon: Leonard, Leonard, you're tainting my data.
Leonard: Uh, it's like word for word.

Leonard: Oh, my God. At sleepaway camp my cabin was called "Control Group."

Raj: I never thought I would see Sheldon enjoying himself around babies so much.
Amy: Yeah, how about that?
Raj: So he just happened to stumble upon a book about experimenting with them the same day we were hanging out with Howard's kids?
Amy: Yep, don't overthink it.

Howard: That's time.
Sheldon: Oh, really? Can we do one more?
Howard: I think these guys need to get some food.
Sheldon: By pushing a lever at the end of an obstacle course that we design?
Howard: No, by opening the door to a hangar and letting the airplane fly in.

Amy: Although, Sheldon, maybe it could be an experiment.
Sheldon: Are you suggesting we color-code their food so we can examine their diapers later?
Amy: Sure.
Sheldon: These diapers are gonna be full of data.

Sheldon: Michael, you're making me look bad. Interact with me. [gasps] He grabbed my finger. Oh, he's smiling. I'm doing it.

Howard: William Shatner, Kevin Smith. Who else could be there?
Leonard: Do you see what I see over his shoulder?
Howard: Is that a ghost?
Raj: I think it's Stuart.
Sheldon: That is Stuart. What-What's he doing there?
Raj: Maybe he died in Wil's house and he can't leave until he solves his own murder.

Raj: I wonder who else is playing.
Leonard: I bet we can use graph theory to determine who Wil knows and who is likely to play D&D.
Howard: Yes.
Leonard: Okay, obviously he's connected to the whole Next Gen cast-
Penny: So this is the rest of our night, huh?
Amy: Oh, no, this is the rest of our lives.