Sheldon: You know, spending time with Michael and Halley today really made me think about our future children.
Amy: Huh, what an interesting and completely unforeseen development.

Penny: Can I just see what he wrote on the napkin?
Bernadette: What napkin?

Bernadette: Not only is she a helluva salesperson, she's the hardest worker I've ever seen.
Danny: I know, that's why I'm trying to steal her from you.
Bernadette: Well, then you're gonna have to do a lot better than this, because I promise you, I'm not gonna let her go without a fight.
Penny: You do not want that, she's a biter.

Bernadette: That's not an offer. Do you know how amazing this girl is?
Penny: Aw. You think I'm amazing?
Bernadette: Stay out of this.

Bernadette: Danny, you rat bastard.
Danny: What? I'm just making your friend an offer.
Penny: Yeah, he's writing it on a napkin like in the movies.

Danny: Look, why don't I just give you a number and see what you think?
Penny: Ooh, are-are you gonna write it on a napkin and slide it over to me?
Danny: No, I was just gonna say it.
Penny: Aw.
Danny: Do you want me to write it on a napkin and slide it over to you?
Penny: Yah.

Danny: Zangen's a fine company. They got a couple of good drugs, but we control 60% of the market. Hell, commissions on just our fungal creams will put you in a new Mercedes.
Penny: Danny. Danny, look at me. Does this face sell fungal creams? No. This face is cholesterol drugs and above.
Danny: Playing hard to get, huh?
Penny: [laughs] No one's ever accused me of that before.

Leonard: Just tell me the truth, Mother. Was my whole childhood just one big experiment?
Beverly Hofstadter: Of course not, dear. It was thousands of small experiments.
Leonard: So that's all I was to you, a-a test subject?
Beverly Hofstadter: No, you were my baby and I found you fascinating.
Leonard: Really?
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes, watching you develop, tracking your progress. I know I'm not the warmest of parents, but it was time we spent together, and, honestly, those are some of my fondest memories.
Leonard: When did you stop?
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, I can't tell you. The experiment isn't over.

Amy: I guess we should go and let Howard get them ready for bed.
Sheldon: Yeah. Do you think he'd let us come back and do some more?
Amy: Maybe we could take them to the park.
Sheldon: Smart. There'll be more babies. It's a bigger sample size.

Sheldon: It's so funny, we did all these experiments on them and they didn't even notice.
Amy: I know, I was worried it would be obvious, but it wasn't.

Sheldon: Well, you were right, Amy. There were so many valuable experiments to perform on them during bath time.
Amy: You don't say.
Sheldon: I do. I tested their object permanence with a rubber duck, and we took a run at Archimedes water displacement, but that went right over their heads.

Raj: Where are the kids?
Amy: Oh, Sheldon's helping Howard give them a bath.
Raj: Hmm. So you really think you can trick Sheldon into liking babies?
Amy: I slept with him. I married him. You want to bet against me?

Bernadette: I can't believe this is how you thank me.
Penny: I thanked you by thanking you. And I sent you that fancy box of pears.
Bernadette: What am I supposed to do with 20 pears? Have a pear party?

Bernadette: Don't be so naive. They're our number one competitor. They have a rival drug coming out with a name I wish we thought of. Forsootha. It's got "soothe" right in it. How did we miss that?

Bernadette: So what did he want?
Penny: Nothing.
Karen: He offered her a job.
Bernadette: No one likes a tattletale, Karen. So, what's up, traitor?
Penny: Dammit, Karen.