Sheldon: I met my wife here, and we sat at this very table, so if you play your cards right, in eight years, you could marry this woman.
Greg: That's my sister.
Sheldon: Well, don't tell people. That's not okay.

Denise: I don't want to blame you, but if you'd moved in with me when I asked you to, we wouldn't be in this situation.
Stuart: You're right. It's my fault. When I had the chance, I was scared and now that I want to, you're stuck with Mitch.
Denise: So you do want to move in with me?
Stuart: More than Galactus wants to devour worlds.
Denise: Well, that's great 'cause I want to move in with you more than the Thing wants to clobber.
Stuart: More than Hulk wants to smash?
Denise: More than Batman wants to ignore the due process of law.
Stuart: We are so weird.

Stuart: I'm sorry, but I couldn't sleep at your place. Mitch was really freaking me out.
Denise: He was freaking me out, too, but there has to be a better solution.
Stuart: Tonight we'll go back to my place.
Denise: And tomorrow?
Stuart: With my health being what it is, I try to live one day at a time.

Raj: I'm flying out tomorrow. I'm gonna surprise her with a ring.
Bernadette: You already have a ring?
Raj: Well, it's the same one as before.
Howard: I thought you gave it to her the first time you got engaged?
Raj: I did, but I took it back.
Howard: So, you're an Indian giver?
Bernadette: Howie.
Howard: What? If he's gonna move to England, I need to get all these out now.

Amy: I'm sure she's not mad at you.
Sheldon: Well, then why would she rather spend the day with Leonard?
Amy: Because he's her son?
Sheldon: Amy, I just feel like we're going in circles.

Leonard: I can't believe this.
Beverly Hofstadter: What? You seem angry.
Leonard: Of course I'm angry!
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, so would you say that you're somewhat angry, very angry or extremely angry? Never mind. I can see it in your face, dear.

Beverly Hofstadter: Yeah, that's a fair point. I hadn't considered your influence. Perhaps tomorrow I could observe the two of you together?
Penny: Uh, "observe"? [laughs] What is going on?
Beverly Hofstadter: I'm just visiting with my son and doing research for my book on how various parenting strategies affected my children as adults.
Leonard: This has all been work to you? Hanging out with me and coming to my lab, I- I thought we were enjoying each other's company, but it was just research.
Beverly Hofstadter: I was enjoying it; you know I love research.

Leonard: It made me really happy. We haven't always had the easiest relationship. But, well, looking back, I guess you were just trying to push me to be the best version of myself.
Beverly Hofstadter: So you would say that my parenting strategies, although difficult at times, directly contributed to your current success?
Penny: Well, I may have had a little something to do with it. I mean, how often do you wear your superhero underwear now?
Leonard: Only Fridays and my birthday.
Penny: Yeah, that was all me. That was me.

Penny: Still, it made him so happy showing you around his lab yesterday.
Beverly Hofstadter: Interesting. Would you say that that made him, uh, much happier than usual, somewhat happier than usual or as happy as usual?
Penny: Hmm, multiple choice. Um, I'm-a go with D: "that's a weird question."

Penny: Beverly, I have to say, it's so nice seeing the two of you get along.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, I've always gotten along with Leonard. Of all of my children, he's the most docile.
Leonard: She wrote that in a birthday card once. I keep it in my nightstand.

Bernadette: No, with them in his room, doing stuff.
Howard: Oh, come on, we're sitting right out here. They're not gonna do anything.
["Smooth Operator" starts playing loudly in Stuart's room]
I'd like to change my answer.

Penny: This place is amazing. I can't believe you got us in here.
Anu: Well, it's kind of my job. Usually I get tipped for it, but I'll leave that up to you.

Stuart: I'm excited. I haven't been on a date in a long time.
Howard: Back when I was dating, I'd always wear a new pair of underwear, just in case.
Stuart: It's also been a long time since I bought new underwear. And I probably should, because these are no longer tighty nor whitey.
Bernadette: Okay, I'm out.

Amy: Let me guess. This thing with Tam escalated, and now you're mad at Leonard and looking for a new best friend?
Sheldon: You know me so well. It's too bad you can't be my best friend.
Amy: I can be.
Sheldon: You can't be my wife and my best friend. Who would I complain about you to?

Bernadette: I dunno, I married for love and it turned out ... fine.
Penny: [silence] Oh, yeah, me, too.