Anu: But I warn you, I just got out of a weird relationship, and I might complain about my ex a lot.
Raj: Maybe he's being weird because he doesn't know how to ask for his ring back.

Leonard: All right, look, um I'm sorry that we fought before. I know this is a really unusual situation, and if you don't want me to do it, I won't.
Penny: Really?
Leonard: Yeah. We're a team. We're in this together.
Penny: I'll be right back.
Leonard: What is that?
Penny: It's a sample cup.
Leonard: Really? 'Cause it looks like the top off the NyQuil bottle.
Penny: It's the closest thing I could find. It's a gesture. Shut up.

Penny: They couldn't have picked a better person. [Leonard chuckles and picks up his phone] Are you calling Zack?
Leonard: No, Sheldon. Would you say that last part one more time?

Penny: Champagne, a champagne, a champagne with a packet of Splenda in it.
Sheldon: You know what I call this drink?
Penny: A waste of champagne?
Sheldon: No. A Dr. Cooper. Because-
Amy: He's also sweet and bubbly.
Leonard: All right.

Leonard: A toast to Sheldon and Amy and the publication of your super-asymmetry paper. We are so proud of you guys. Cheers.
Amy: Thanks.
Sheldon: Ooh! That is PhD-licious.

Leonard: So, have you guys gotten any feedback yet?
Amy: Well, there are some comments online, but we haven't read them. We decided we don't care what people say about our work.
Penny: Good for you. People online can be so mean. I posted a picture of myself on Instagram, and some jerk said I looked so skinny I might disappear.
Leonard: And yet, somehow she soldiers on.

Sheldon: Although, Amy and I did give the world a gift. It would be nice to read some of the thank-you notes.
Leonard: I'm surprised you're interested in some stranger's opinion.
Sheldon: Well, as I always say, a stranger's just a friend who hasn't complimented me yet.

Amy: Okay. I'll read them.
Leonard: If any of them accuse you of being too pretty, Penny can help you through it.

Amy: Okay, here's one from Dr. Saltzberg at UCLA.
Sheldon: Wait, no, stop. I don't want to know. What if he's mean?
Leonard: Well, what if he's complimentary?
Sheldon: I want to know.
Amy: Okay. He says-
Sheldon: I don't want to know.
Leonard: All right, just let me see it. Okay, this is this is really positive. Wow, it's, like, really positive. He says it might be the discovery of the decade.
Amy: He's right. They love it.
Sheldon: This is so exciting. Oh, this may be the Dr. Cooper talking, but pour me another Dr. Cooper.

Leonard: Hey, Penny and I were thinking of getting a big paintball game together.
Howard: Oh, Leonard, why does she want to shoot you?
Leonard: She doesn't want to shoot me.
Raj: Who doesn't want to shoot you?
Leonard: Penny.
Raj: No, that doesn't sound right.

Leonard: She just wants to play paintball. It combines my love of whimsy with her love of making grown men cry.

Howard: Sounds fun. Bernadette and I are in.
Raj: You don't need to ask her?
Howard: No. I've been pretty annoying lately. She's gonna want to shoot me.

President Siebert: Dr. Cooper.
Sheldon: Ah, President Siebert.
President Siebert: What are you doing in the regular cafeteria? You're a superstar. No offense, worker bees.

President Siebert: You should join me in my private dining room. Dr. Fowler is already there.
Sheldon: Can I bring my friends?
President Siebert: No.
Sheldon: Can I bring my tater tots?
President Siebert: Yes.
Sheldon: All right, let's go.

President Siebert: Welcome to the inner sanctum.
Sheldon: Oh, I do love a good sanctum.