Amy: Sheldon, look at my fruit plate. It's got kiwi on it.
Sheldon: Ugh. I don't like kiwi.
Amy: Neither do I, but it's so fancy.

President Siebert: Well, this is nice. Why have we waited so long to do this?
Sheldon: Because you never invited us.
President Siebert: Ha-ha-ha! Well, the important thing is you're here now, and we're so excited about your work. This paper's going to do big things for all of us, so if there's anything that you need You know, actually, I could use some barbecue sauce for my tots. Oh, wait. No. Ketchup.
President Siebert: Can we have some barbecue sauce and ketchup over here?
Sheldon: Both? So this is how the other half lives.

President Siebert: I just want you to know that you have our full support, and we're organizing a big media push. Articles. Interviews.
Amy: Oh, you want us to do interviews?
President Siebert: Well, we're thinking a divide-and-conquer approach here, where you do the interviews, and Sheldon stays here and holds down the fort. You know, in case there's an emergency.
Sheldon: What kind of an emergency would there be in physics?
President Siebert: I don't know, maybe there's an object in motion that won't stay in motion. Or a reaction that's equal but not opposite.

Amy: It sounds like you don't want Sheldon to do the interviews.
President Siebert: It's not that we don't want Sheldon to do the interviews, it's just that we really want you to do the interviews. Without Sheldon.

Sheldon: Now, wait, wait, are you trying to exclude me?
President Siebert: Look, Sheldon, you're a brilliant man, but your people skills are-
Sheldon: This is not barbecue sauce! This is steak sauce! What are you trying to pull?
President Siebert: Like that.
Sheldon: This is ridiculous. It is my work, too, and I am perfectly capable of keeping it together for an interview.
President Siebert: Okay. Say somebody asks if you feel your work is derivative of the work of Professor Joseph Polchinski.
[Sheldon's face starts twitching violently]
Amy: Seriously, can we get this man some barbecue sauce!?

Stuart: Would you mind stocking these?
Denise: Actually, I'm not on the clock today. I'm just hanging out with my boyfriend.
Stuart: Ah, cool. Huh. That's me, right?
Denise: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I broke up with you, and now I'm dating that guy.
Stuart: I know you're joking, but my flight-or-flight response doesn't.
Denise: Isn't it fight-or-flight?
Stuart: Not for me.

Anu: So I told my mom she just needed to back off. This is our wedding, and if anyone's gonna design the floral arrangements, it's going to be my man.
Raj: Thank you. I mean, I'm not trying to be a groomzilla, but this is my specialty.

Anu: Someone texting you?
Raj: Uh, no. It's just my, uh, doorbell camera.
Anu: Oh. I got one of those for my place, but I never installed it.
Raj: Oh, it's easy. I can do it for you. You're gonna love it. It's how I found out a raccoon was stealing my cheese-of-the-month club.
Anu: What did you do?
Raj: Nothing. I didn't want to piss it off. It was, like, huge from eating all the cheese.

Leonard: Hey. We're doing a big paintball game on Saturday if you two want to join.
Denise: Oh, my roommate asked me to help her move out on Saturday.
Penny: Ugh. That sucks.
Denise: Sucks for her. I'm playing paintball.

Stuart: I didn't know your roommate was moving out.
Denise: Yeah. I've been looking for a new one, but so far no luck.
Penny: You hear that? She needs a roommate.
Stuart: (mumbling)
Denise: What do you think, Stuart?
Stuart: (mumbling): Uh, i-i-i, uh... Flight. Flight. [Stuart walks out]
Penny: That was hard to watch.

Amy: Okay, I need you to be honest with me. How do I look?
Sheldon: A little shorter, but as we age that happens to all of us.
Amy: Come on, help me out here. I've got a bunch of interviews today.
Sheldon: Well, no one'll notice. They never met you before.

Amy: Sheldon, I'm nervous, and I wish you were coming with me.
Sheldon: If it helps, I wrote up some possible questions and answers for you.
Amy: "Whom do you love more, "Sheldon the scientist or Sheldon the man? Answer: Sheldon the scientist, but by such a slim margin that it's statistically insignificant." Well, you really managed to capture my voice.

Sheldon: Well, don't worry. I'm sure you're gonna do great.
Amy: Thank you. Okay, bye.
Sheldon: Wait, wait, wait. You forgot the cards.
Amy: Love you, too.

Bernadette: Really? She asked you to move in with her?
Stuart: Yeah, she was hinting around about it, but I think I handled it pretty well.
Raj: "Pretty well"? You ran out of there so fast, if it was a cartoon, there would have been a Stuart-shaped hole in the wall.

Bernadette: Was she mad?
Stuart: Uh, no. I talked to her after. She said she's fine.
Howard: Oh, no.
Raj: Yikes!
Bernadette: You'll find someone new.