Howard: Everything okay?
Raj: Yeah, it's just Anu's doorbell camera. I helped her install it.
Bernadette: You can't look at it. That's spying.
Raj: Who the hell is this guy?
Bernadette: Ooh, let me see.

Howard: He's got bags. He's probably just delivering food.
Raj: Why is she hugging him?
Bernadette: Maybe she doesn't have tip money?
Raj: Wait, why is she inviting him into the house?
Howard: She's a good tipper?

Amy: Do you ever feel guilty that we get to eat in the fancy dining room while our friends have to eat in the regular one?
Sheldon: Yes. Wait, did you say "guilty" or "happy"?
Amy: "Guilty."
Sheldon: Oh, then no. In fact, take a picture of me with the garlic knots to send them.

President Siebert: There's my MVP - Most Valuable Physicist.
Sheldon: Thank you.
President Siebert: And my star of NPR Science Friday and a potpourri of popular podcasts.

President Siebert: And that headline,"The Neurobiologist Who Revolutionized Physics".
Sheldon: I'm sorry. The who who did what to, huh?

Penny: Oh, hey, how did your interview go?
Amy: Okay, I guess.
Penny: You don't sound very happy.
Sheldon: Oh, why wouldn't she be happy? She's the neurobiologist who revolutionized physics.
Penny: Sorry.

Anu: This should be fun. I've never played before.
Raj: Oh, fair warning, it can get pretty ugly out there.
Anu: Okay, well, remember, I'm your fiancee.
Raj: Oh, I remember. Do you?

Penny: All right, why don't you pick first?
Denise: Okay, um Leonard.
Leonard: Yeah?
Denise: No, I'm picking you.
Leonard: First? For a team? What is happening?

Penny: All right, I take Bernadette.
Howard: Really? You're picking her over me?
Penny: Yeah, 'cause she's vicious and can hide behind a mushroom.

Denise: Um, Sheldon.
Penny: Raj.
Denise: Amy.
Penny: I'll take Anu.
Denise: Howard.
Penny: All rightie.
Stuart: Come on, pick me, pick me.
Penny: I will take ... Stuart.
Stuart: Yes!

Denise: Okay, guys, we need some people to stay here and guard the flag and some people to move out and try to capture theirs.
Leonard: Okay. Sheldon, do you want to stay here and?
Sheldon: What? Hold down the fort? 'Cause that's all I'm good for. Is that what you were going to say?
Amy: You know that's not what he meant.
Sheldon: Oh, why don't you go out there? Maybe you'll be the neurobiologist who revolutionizes paintball.
Amy: Stop it. You're being ridiculous.
Sheldon: Am I? Maybe it's just my poor people skills.
Amy: Oh, it's definitely your poor people skills.
Howard: All right, the choices are get shot at or stay here and listen to them fight.
Leonard, Denise and Howard: Shot at.

Anu: This is pretty exciting, sneaking around like this.
Raj: Oh, so you like sneaking around. Good to know.
Anu: What's that supposed to mean?
Raj: Nothing. Never mind. Let me see if the coast is clear.
Anu: See anybody?
Raj: Yes, I saw a strange man going into your house the other night!
Anu: What?
Raj: But out there, there's nobody.

Stuart: Ow. I'm hit. Ow. I said I was hit.
Denise: Sorry.
Stuart: Ow. Why do you keep shooting me?
Denise: Why don't you want to move in with me?
Stuart: I-I didn't say I didn't want to.
Denise: No, you just ran away. Stuart? Stuart?! Did you run away again?
Stuart: [in the distance] No.

Leonard: Bang, you're out.
Penny: What?! I'm not out. You didn't even shoot me.
Leonard: I'm not gonna shoot you from right here. It's too close. It's gonna hurt.
Penny: Oh, come on. It's not gonna hurt that bad.
Leonard: I'm telling you, from this distance it's gonna- Ow! See? That hurt.
Penny: All right. Fine, you can shoot me.
Leonard: No, I'm not gonna shoot you. Ow!
Penny: Ow! Ow! Aah, you were right. We're way too close.
Leonard: See, I told you it's gonna hurt- Ow!

Amy: I can't believe you're taking this out on me. I was just trying to get publicity for our paper.
Sheldon: By making it seem like it was your idea?
Amy: I didn't write the headline, Sheldon. Did you even read the article? Because I talk about you continuously.
Sheldon: I know, and it just made you sound modest and charming.
Amy: Why can't you just be proud of me?
Sheldon: I am proud of you.
Amy: Really? Because you sound jealous.
Sheldon: Well, I'm that, too. I've seen Inside Out. I know I can feel two things at once.
[Bernadette fires at them]
Amy: Ow!
Sheldon: Ow! Well now I feel three things.