Penny: Really? So you'd be okay if someone wanted to use Sheldon as their sperm donor?
Amy: Oh, absolutely not. I am the only handmaid in this tale.

Bernadette: So Leonard's really considering this?
Penny: Yes. We got in a huge fight about it. He said, well, if I don't want to have his baby, then why shouldn't someone else be able to? Do you believe that? What?
Bernadette: Well, there is a deep-seated biological drive to pass on your genes. It's only natural.
Penny: So you're on his side?
Amy: Well, viewing Leonard as a mammal, it's perfectly understandable.
Bernadette: But viewing him as your husband, he stinks.
Amy: And we hate him.

Sheldon: They wanted you?
Leonard: Yes, Sheldon, they wanted me. I'm smart. I'm nice.
Sheldon: I'm smart. I'm nice. And I can eat cheese without clearing out a room.
Leonard: Are you upset he didn't ask you?
Sheldon: Of course not. I just think it's interesting that of all the people he knows, he thinks you're the best choice.
Leonard: Well, he does. I don't see why Penny is so against this.
Sheldon: Well, perhaps Penny's worried that you haven't considered the emotional toll of knowing there's a child out there who is biologically yours but not actually yours.
Leonard: Wow, that's really insightful.
Sheldon: Yeah, I'm taller than you and I don't have asthma.

Anu: But I warn you, I just got out of a weird relationship, and I might complain about my ex a lot.
Raj: Maybe he's being weird because he doesn't know how to ask for his ring back.

Leonard: All right, look, um I'm sorry that we fought before. I know this is a really unusual situation, and if you don't want me to do it, I won't.
Penny: Really?
Leonard: Yeah. We're a team. We're in this together.
Penny: I'll be right back.
Leonard: What is that?
Penny: It's a sample cup.
Leonard: Really? 'Cause it looks like the top off the NyQuil bottle.
Penny: It's the closest thing I could find. It's a gesture. Shut up.

Penny: They couldn't have picked a better person. [Leonard chuckles and picks up his phone] Are you calling Zack?
Leonard: No, Sheldon. Would you say that last part one more time?

Sheldon: Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Amy: And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.
Sheldon: And this is: Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler present-
Both: Dr. Sheldon Cooper's Fun with Flags.

Amy: All right, on today's episode, we're gonna start with some viewer e-mails.
Sheldon: Oh, take off your glasses so people can't see your password in the reflection.
Amy: Oh, s-sure. Okay, our first e-mail is- mm- from uh, Brad or Brian? I don't know, maybe it's Seth.
Sheldon: All right, put them back on.

Amy: Oh. Uh oh, my gosh, it's from Fermilab in Chicago.
Sheldon: Ah. Not surprising, the Windy City. Great flag town.

Amy: A team of physicists confirmed super-asymmetry. Our paper was right. We did it.
Sheldon: We did it?
Amy: We did it.
Sheldon: We did it.
Both: We did it! We did it! We did it!
[in the hallway:]
Penny: Aw, remember when they only did it on her birthday?

Penny: Is it that anti-itch cream you were testing on grad students?
Bernadette: It's not, but that's a really funny story which I'm legally prevented from telling you.

Howard: It's her anti-inflammatory drug.
Penny: Oh.
Bernadette: Yep, three years of testing and no reported side effects.
Raj: Ah, so it works.
Bernadette: Eh.

Penny: I'm so happy for you.
Bernadette: Yeah, well, I'm happy for you, because I want you to head up my sales team.
Penny: Really? Me? Don't you want someone with more experience?
Bernadette: Nope. The job's all yours.
Penny: (laughs) Okay, well, thank you. Why don't we just chat about this at work?
Bernadette: We can chat about it all you want, but you're doing it.
Penny: (chuckles) We'll see.
Bernadette: That's a yes.

Amy: You guys will never believe what just happened.
Raj: Yeah, we heard. You did it.
Sheldon: We did do it.
Amy: And we didn't even know we did it!
Howard: Wait, what?
Sheldon: Two physicists in Chicago had to tell us.
Leonard: Wait, what?
Sheldon: Their experiment on kaon decay supported our predictions on the higher order corrections pertaining to super-asymmetry.
Penny: Wait, what?

Penny: You know, it was nice of Bernadette to offer, but I'm not sure it's the right move for me.
Leonard: Well, what are you talking about? If you were in charge of her project, wouldn't that be a promotion?
Penny: Well, yeah, but it's not the most important thing. Aren't you always saying it's about the work, not more money or a better title?
Leonard: All the smart things I say, and you remember the dumb one.