Professor Proton: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello, Arthur. Now, I'm confused, usually when you appear to me in my dreams, we're on the planet Dagobah.
Professor Proton: This is Dagobah.
Sheldon: I didn't know that Dagobah had delicatessens.
Professor Proton: Not good ones. Whatever you do, don't order the Reuben.

Sheldon: I'm having a problem in my marriage. I've upset my wife and I don't know how to make it right.
Professor Proton: (chuckles) And you're and you're coming to me for advice? I-I upset my wife every time I woke up in the morning.

Sheldon: I'm not coming to you, you're just a manifestation of my subconscious. I mean, I'm actually coming to me.
Professor Proton: So you know everything I'm going to say.
Sheldon: Yes, but it sounds wiser from you because you're old and glowing.

Professor Proton: Rule number one in a marriage: don't go to bed angry.
Sheldon: That makes sense.
Professor Proton: Rule number two in a marriage: if you don't recognize the shoes under your bed, they're not your shoes.
Sheldon: Because they're her shoes?
Professor Proton: (sighs) N-Never mind, just-just go with rule number one.
Sheldon: Thank you, Arthur.
Professor Proton: Uh, before you go, can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Of course.
Professor Proton: Does this look lean to you? I ordered lean.

Sheldon: Amy. Wake up. Amy.
Amy: What? What's wrong?
Sheldon: We can't go to sleep angry with each other.
Amy: Why not?
Sheldon: It's rule number one. I'd tell you rule number two, but it's confusing.

Amy: Sheldon, go to sleep.
Sheldon: Amy. [tapping her three times] Amy. [tapping her three times] Amy. [tapping her three times]
Amy: You cut that out!
Sheldon: Oh, good, you're up.

Sheldon: No, Professor Proton came to me in my dream and said we can't go to sleep angry.
Amy: Are you sure that's what he said? Close your eyes, double-check.

Amy: Okay, listen to me. I love working with you, but you have to understand how scary this is for me.
Sheldon: Why?
Amy: Because I don't want to get lost in this relationship. And when you pulled me off my project, it seemed like my biggest fear was coming true, the-the things that are mine are getting subsumed into the things that are ours.
Sheldon: I wouldn't want that to happen, either. Thank you for explaining, and for using the word "subsume," that's one you don't hear enough.

Amy: What are you doing now?
Sheldon: Looking for shoes.
Amy: Why?
Sheldon: When your favorite ghost tells you to do something, you do it.

Amy: Hey, whatcha doing?
Sheldon: Improving our wedding photos.
Amy: Oh, that's nice. Wait, I'm still in them, right?

Sheldon: Of course.And not only you. I've added some guests who couldn't be there.
Amy: Who's that next to my father?
Sheldon: The Wright brothers.
Amy: And why are they at our wedding?
Sheldon: Orville, because I admire him; Wilbur, because he was Orville's plus-one.

Amy: Oh. You got an e-mail from someone named Tam.
Sheldon: Tam? What does he want?
Amy: Uh, looks like he's coming to give his son a tour of Caltech. He's hoping you guys can meet up.
Sheldon: (scoffs) He would like that, wouldn't he?
Amy: Well, that is the gist of the e-mail.

Amy: Who's Tam?
Sheldon: He was my best friend in the whole world growing up.
Amy: Really? Why have I never heard you mention him before?
Sheldon: Oh, of course I have. I'm sure I've mentioned him, like, five times this week.
Amy: I don't think you have.
Sheldon: Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam! There, it's only Thursday.
Amy: I didn't just drink the crazy milk, I bought the crazy cow.

Bernadette: So, are you actually engaged to this woman you just met?
Raj: Yeah.
Penny: Tell us the truth. Did she get you pregnant?

Raj: Guys, I need your help, okay? I'm trying to buy her engagement ring. What do you think of this? Do you think she'll like this one?
Bernadette: Well, it's hard to say, not knowing much about her. Does she have fingers?
Raj: Yes, she has ten fingers and ten toes. Probably. I'll get back to you after I see her in sandals.