Rajesh: Die, Toaster, Die!

Ramona: You are so witty.
Sheldon: Aren't I?

Leonard: Okay, don't take this as a criticism but you do have that over exposed to gamma radiation thing going on.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Usually your the easy going Bruce Banner but when you get angry you turn into (makes growling noise).
Penny: I turn into a bear?
Leonard: Gamma radiation, Bruce Banner; you didn't get the Incredible Hulk from that?

Sheldon: Oh, mimicry. I enjoy mimicry. I've been working on Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi. "It's a trap". You have to imagine me with a giant squid head. "It's a trap! It's a trap. It's a trap."

Howard: May I say Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do with such greasy hair.

Sheldon: (After Leonard whistles) First warning.

Sheldon: Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot?
Rajesh: As with my father I both love and fear it.

Sheldon: Everything is better with Bluetooth.

Wolowitz: Leonard, how was your date?
Leonard: Bite me!

Leonard: Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous!
Sheldon: I know! Most of your work is extremely derivative. And don't worry, that's not a secret.

Leslie: Anyway, I just figure it's time to slow things down and who better to slow things down with than you?
Leonard: Oh, I'm flattered. So, how do you suggest we proceed?
Leslie: Your place, we'll order Chinese, you'll rent a movie, artsy but accessible, then light petting, no coitus.
Leonard: Sounds fun.
Leslie: I'll leave the details up to you, I think it's better if you assume the male role.
Leonard: Thank you, that's very thoughtful.
Leslie: Great. Call me!

Sheldon: Who is going to drive me to work?
Leonard: You're a big boy you'll figure something out.
Sheldon: Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Now take me to return my Star Wars sheets.

Sheldon: So, have you and I returned to a social equilibrium?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Great. New topic. Where are you in your menstrual cycle?
Penny: What?
Sheldon: I've been doing some research online, and apparently female primates, you know, uh, apes, chimpanzees, you, they find their mate more desirable when he's being courted by another female. Now, this effect is intensified when the rival female is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation. Which brings me back to my question, where are you in (Penny slams door). Clearly, I'm 14 days too early.

Leslie: So, dumbass, I heard you made a grad student throw up last night.
Sheldon: The truth can indeed be a finger down the throat of those unprepared to hear it. But why should I cater to second-rate minds?
Leslie: Because first-rate minds call you "dumbass"?

Howard: There must be another way.
Raj: You could try calling AAA. But based on NASA's latest timetable, they wouldn't be out there for another 35 years.
Sheldon: Plus, I understand you need to be standing next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive.