Sheldon: Kripke, what would you say to the idea of you and I becoming friends?
Barry Kripke: I would say "I have no interest in becoming your friend".

Leonard: What happened to him?
Howard: He wouldn't sleep so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mother's Valium in it. Tag you're it!

Raj: They're going to digitally add a supernova they say its the perfect metaphor for my incandescent talent.
Sheldon: Yes, a giant ball of gas that collapses on itself.

Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: I was examining perturbutive amplitudes in N=4 supersymeteric theories leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of multiloop N=8 supergravity using modern twistor theory.

Leonard: Didn't I tell you I'd be working nights and you'd have to make others arrangements?
Sheldon: You did.
Leonard: And?
Sheldon: I didn't.

Sheldon: Oh God, not Euclid Avenue!

Sheldon: "Gerry the Gerbil and the bully boys on the bus." Read it, not helpful.

Howard: Behold the Mobile Omni-Directional Neutralization and Termination Eradicator! Or...
Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, Raj: Monte.

Howard: You know the old saying: pasty and frail never fail.

Raj: Is this just so we won't touch your stuff while you're away?
Sheldon: I'll admit that was a concern, but the fact is I'll need a support team, and the three of you are my first choice.
Howard: Really?
Sheldon: Well, there are others who might be more qualified, but the thought of interviewing them gave me a stomach ache.

Howard: I got the Mars-rover stuck in the ditch.
Sheldon: Where?
Howard: On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield. Where do you think?! On Mars!

Penny: It's out of order.
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes, I can read the sign. I was just pondering the implications.
Penny: I think it implies that the elevator doesn't work.
Beverly Hofstadter: Again, I can read the sign. But the sign and the tape are covered with a layer of dust which indicates the elevator has been non-functional for a significant period of time, which suggests either a remarkable passivity among the - I assume - 24-36 residents of this building - based on the number of mail boxes and typical urban densities - or a shared delusion of functionality.

Raj: Hold on a second. Kreplach??
Howard: Yeah.
Raj: That isn't Klingon. It's yiddish for meat-filled dumpling!
Howard: Well, as it turns out it's also a Klingon word.
Leonard: Really? Define it.
Howard: Kreplach a hearty Klingon.....dumpling.

Sheldon: Oh look, Saturn 3 is on.
Raj: I don't want to watch Saturn 3. Deep Space Nine is better.
Sheldon: How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3?
Raj: Simple subtraction will tell you its six better.

Raj: Lock up your daughters, we're going to hit it and quit it.