Barry Kripke: We're all pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls. That's why we fight robots.

Barry Kripke: If you're not there, you'll be exposed to ridicule.

(O.S. - In video) Barry Kripke: As you can see, the Kripke Crippler is reducing the Chevy Cavalier to rubble.

Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.
Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
Stuart: Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Penny! (x3)
Penny: Sheldon, what is it?
Sheldon: Leonard's asleep.
Penny: Thanks for the update.

Sheldon: Who is going to drive me to work?
Leonard: You're a big boy you'll figure something out.
Sheldon: Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Now take me to return my Star Wars sheets.

Sheldon: The only way she'd be able to make a contribution to science is if they resume sending chimps into space.

Sheldon: All right, are you familiar with the development that resulted from Honore Blanc's 1778 use of interchangeable parts? The assembly line, of course.
Penny: Okay, you know what, if I'm not allowed to be snide, you're not allowed to be condescending.
Sheldon: That wasn't a part of our original agreement, and I do not agree to it now.
Penny: All right, fine. How are we supposed to set up machines and conveyor belts in my apartment?
Sheldon: You're thinking of the moving assembly line, an understandable but not excusable mistake. No, the moving assembly line, that was introduced by Henry Ford in 1908. That innovation is what made possible our modern consumer culture by enabling a low-unit cost for manufactured goods. I guess that isn't one of the topics discussed on your Radiohead.

Penny: What?
Leonard: He said we should maybe enter you in the killer robot competition.

Sheldon: I am very, very sorry for what I have done. Here's your laundry, I rescind your strikes and you are no longer banished.

Sheldon: Then I suggest you get them down with a long stick and play panty piata.

Penny: What up moonpie!

Penny: I found the decaf.
Stuart: Oh, great.
Sheldon: Herbal tea for me, please.

Penny: David is not smarter than you, because a smart man would take the naked pictures of his wife off his phone before trying to take naked pictures of his girlfriend!
Leonard: He tried to take nude photos of you?
Penny: That's what you took from that?! The guy is married!
Leonard: Oh, that's terrible.
Penny: And you, if you're so fine with how the way things are between us then why are you so jealous?
Leonard: The important thing is he's married and that's terrible.
Penny: Nice save, genius.

Raj: Lock up your daughters, we're going to hit it and quit it.