Season 2 Quotes Page 39 of 39
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Raj: Of course you feel terrible. You completely screwed up your karma, dude.
Sheldon: You don't really believe in that superstition, do you?
Raj: It's not superstition. It's practically Newtonian. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. Leonard pretends to be a friend and acts like a two-faced bitch. Therefore, he is reborn as a banana slug. It's actually a very elegant system. You know, what goes around comes around.
Sheldon: I must say, Howard, I think a detailed letter to MIT describing your current circumstances might entitle you to a refund on your master's degree.
Leonard: Wait a minute. He offered to send you to the North Pole?
Sheldon: Yes. In fact, he was quite enthusiastic. He said, "Frankly, if I could send you tonight, I would."
Sheldon: I'm a theoretical physicist, a career I chose in no small part because it's indoors. But if I'm able to detect slow-moving magnetic monopoles there, I will be the first scientist to confirm string theory. People will write books about me. Third-graders will create macaroni-art dioramas depicting scenes from my life.
Leonard: Sure, maybe a tableau of me trying to pummel you to death.
Sheldon: I'm not good with cold, Leonard. How often have we had to leave a movie theater because I got a headache from drinking the Icee too fast? I can't go.
Leonard: Sheldon, what are the words I can say right now to end this conversation and let me go back to sleep?
Sheldon: Odd, President Siebert posed the exact same question.
Leonard: How was it resolved?
Sheldon: It wasn't. His wife set the dogs on me, and rendered the question moot.
Sheldon: I need access to the Cheesecake Factory's walk-in freezer.
Penny: Now, honey, I already told you, the hamburger meat is fresh and stored at a safe temperature.
Mrs. Koothrappali: So, she has no problem with her son being eaten by a walrus?
Sheldon: That's very unlikely, Mrs. Koothrappali. If Raj dies, it'll be from frostbite, gangrene, acute sunburn or being ripped to shreds by a hundred pound polar bear.
Leonard: What about the really long hug? What did that mean?
Penny: That wasn't a long hug.
Leonard: It was at least five Mississippis. A standard hug is two Mississippis tops.
Raj: But mummy, all the other guys are going to the North Pole.
Mrs. Koothrappali: I don't care what the other guys are doing. If the other guys jumped in the Bay of Bengal and tried to swim to Sri Lanka, would you follow them?
Howard: Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali, namaste. I understand your concern, but if it'll make you feel any better, my mother is fine with me going. And this is a woman who kept a safety rail on my bed until I was 17.
Mrs Koothrappali: So, she has no problem with her son being eaten by a walrus?
Sheldon: The only way she'd be able to make a contribution to science is if they resume sending chimps into space.
Sheldon: Leonard, let me tell you something. Personal robots cannot get here soon enough.
Barry Kripke: Are you crazy? This is a street fight. The street has no rules.
Sheldon: Just pick out anything? Maybe at the same time we can pick out a new suit for him without knowing his size, or pick out his career for him without knowing his attitude, or pick out a new breakfast cereal without knowing his fiber requirements or his feelings about little marshmallows.