Sheldon: Here. I'm hoping once you reap the endorphic rewards of the steady clickety-clack of steel wheels on polished rails, your sour disposition will abate.
Leonard: Yeah, maybe. Meanwhile back in the 21st century, people are raising their tray tables and putting their seat-backs in an upright position 'cause it's time to land in San Francisco.

Raj: It's not so bad, really. At least these trains have modern plumbing. In India, you squat over a hole in the train and expose your naked buttocks to the chilly air of Rajasthan.
Sheldon: He is referring, of course, to third class on Indian Railways' magnificent Ranakpur Express and its twelve hundred kilometer journey from Maharashtra to the Bikaner Junction.
Leonard: Oh, look, now he's boring on an international scale.

Howard: What would Summer Glau be doing riding the train?
Leonard: Maybe John Connor's aboard and shes protecting him from an evil Terminator.
Sheldon: Unlikely. That's a television show, Leonard.
Leonard: Thank you.
Sheldon: Of course, if SkyNet actually did exist in the future, a perfect way to infiltrate and destroy mankind would be to send Terminators back posing as actors who have played Terminators in popular films and television series, lulling us into a false sense of security, i.e., that's Summer Glau from The Sarah Connor Chronicles. No, Summer, don't kill me! I'm pro-robot! Argh!

Howard: You're overlooking something. I have 11 hours with her in a confined space. Unless she#s willing to jump off a moving train, tuck and roll down the side of a hill, she will eventually succumb to the acquired taste that is Howard Wolowitz.

Sheldon: I'm confused. I thought you were involved in some sort of socially intimate pairing with Leslie Winkle.
Howard: Sheldon, let me explain to you how this works.
Sheldon: All right.
Howard: That's Summer Glau.
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: That's it.

Leonard: Excuse me, but what about me? Why don't I get a shot?
Howard: Fine, go ahead. Take a shot.
Leonard: You know, I've already got a gorgeous blond back home that I can't score with. I think I'll let you two take this one.

Raj: Sheldon, is there a place on this train to get alcohol?
Sheldon: Interesting that you ask. The Coast Starlight recently added the refurbished Pacific Parlour Car. Built in 1956 and originally known as the Santa Fe Lounge Car, the lower level is a theater-
Raj: Yeah-yeah, which way?
Sheldon: --and the upper level is a bar that offers wine tastings if you're going as far as Portland.

Leonard: So aren't you going to go talk to her?
Howard: I will, I'm just working on my opening line.
Leonard: She's probably heard every possible line, Howard. Why don't you just try hello?
Howard: No, no, no, that always creeps girls out. I need to come up with something thats funny, smart and delicately suggests that my sexual endowment is disproportionate to my physical stature.
Leonard: You're going to need more than 11 hours.

Sheldon: Oh, no.
Leonard: What's the matter?
Sheldon: I forgot my flash drive.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So we have to go back.
Leonard: Okay, Sheldon, I'm going to say why and your answer cannot be because I forgot my flash drive.
Sheldon: You don't understand. My flash drive has my paper on astrophysical probes of M-theory effects in the early universe that I was going to give to George Smoot at the conference.
Leonard: Why do you have to give your paper to George Smoot?
Sheldon: It's brilliant. He needs to read it.

Leonard: So you'll send him an e-mail when we get back.
Sheldon: Then I won't get to see his face light up as he reads it.

Leonard: Well, there's nothing you can do about it, so relax, sit back, enjoy the clickety-clack of the steel wheels on the polished rails.
Sheldon: You forgot your flash drive, You forgot your flash drive...
Leonard: Only ten hours, 55 minutes to go.

Sheldon: Okay, I've found the perfect solution. We get off the train at the next stop in Oxnard. We then take the 1:13 train back to Union Station. We take a cab back to the apartment, get my flash drive, and then race to San Luis Obispo, where, assuming the lights are with us and minimal traffic, we'll meet the train.
Leonard: I've got a better idea.
Sheldon: Are you going to be sarcastic?
Leonard: Boy, you take all the fun out of it for me.

Leonard: But look, Penny's home. Why don't we just call her, have her go in the apartment, get your flash drive and e-mail you the paper?
Sheldon: But the flash drive is in a locked drawer in my desk.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: The key is hidden in my room.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: Penny would have to go into my room.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: People don't go in my room!

Sheldon: Okay, step four. Do you see that small plastic case on my dresser?
Penny: Your dresser? Who is this?
Sheldon: It's Sheldon.
Penny: Oh, hey, Sheldon! How is San Francisco?
Sheldon: I'm not in San Francisco. I'm on a train. Were you even listening to me?
Penny: Uh, no, I was talking to my friend, but what's up?
Sheldon: What's up? I'll tell you whats up. I'm in a crisis situation, and I need you to marshal your powers of concentration, limited as they may be-

Leonard: He's calling to ask you a favor. You might be confused because he didn't use the words, Penny, Sheldon, please or favor.