Penny: Is there anything in there about if one of you gets a girlfriend?
Sheldon: No, that seemed a little far-fetched.

Leonard: Sheldon, do you really expect to enforce this?
Sheldon: I've lived up to all my commitments under the agreement. At least once a day I ask how you are, even though I simply don't care. I no longer stage spontaneous bio-hazard drills after 10 pm And I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing.

Leonard: Look, Sheldon, I know its in the agreement, and if you turn into a zombie, I promise I will not kill you. In fact, Ill even let you eat my brains. But I am taking Penny to Switzerland.

Leonard: Okay, I know what'll cheer you up, let's play one of your driving games.
Sheldon: All right. This game is called Traitors. I will name three historical figures, you put them in order of the heinousness of their betrayal. Benedict Arnold, Judas, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
Leonard: You really think I belong with Benedict Arnold and Judas?
Sheldon: You're right. Judas had the decency to hang himself after what he did.

Howard: That's not true. My happiness is not dependent on my best friend being miserable and alone.
Raj: Thank you.
Howard: Although, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit of a perk.

Leonard: Who's miserable and alone?
Raj: Me.
Leonard: Oh, I used to be like that. Then I got a girlfriend.
Sheldon: In pre-1976 terms, neener-neener.

Sheldon: This is incredible! I'm so happy, I'm not even going to question their judgment in picking you. I'm just going to run home and start packing.
Raj: Why wouldn't you take Penny?
Leonard: I am taking Penny.
Raj: Oh. Well, then I anticipate an awkward situation when you get home.

Leonard: But it does involve air travel. Okay, um, let me slice this Swiss cheese with my Swiss army knife, and then you can wash it down with a cup of Swiss Miss instant cocoa.
Penny: Okay, I'm starting to think Swiss is key here.
Leonard: Uh-huh.
Penny: We're going to Disneyland and ride the Matterhorn?
Leonard: How does that involve air travel?
Penny: We're going to Disney World and ride the Matterhorn?

Leonard: Sheldon, you got a minute?
Sheldon: Of course, my good friend. Come in. Help me out, which ski hat says aprs supercollider?
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not taking you to Switzerland.
Sheldon: Well, of course you are. Who else would you take?
Leonard: Penny.
Sheldon: What? That's absurd. Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.
Leonard: Yes, but it'll be Valentine's Day. We can go sightseeing and skiing and make love in front of a roaring fire in the shadow of the snowcapped Alps.
Sheldon: But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.

Leonard: We think we can help you with your stage fright.
Sheldon: Oh, I doubt that. I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
Penny: Yes, but you're not smarter than all of us put together.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, that is what I meant.

Raj: One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits, they hate me and don't come. I'm embarrassed, so I eat all the lettuce in the world and make them watch.

Sheldon: Wait, let me get my jacket.
Howard: You're not going with us.
Sheldon: Why not?
Raj: You're the guy we're trying to get away from.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, in that case, I don't need my jacket. And for the record, the correct syntax is I'm the guy from whom you're trying to get away.

Leonard: I did notify you.
Sheldon: Oh, you did, did you? Oh, drat. Hoisted by my own spam filter.

Sheldon: Last question. In a post-apocalyptic world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source, re-establishing a functioning government, procreating, or preserving the knowledge of mankind.
Leonard: Uh, I'm gonna go with preserving the knowledge.
Sheldon: That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating.

Sheldon: That's where I sit.
Leonard: What's the difference?
Sheldon: This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation. As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs.