Bernadette: This isn't a nonfat yogurt, this is fatty-fat-fat!

Sheldon: Koko learned to understands over 2000 words, not one of which had anything to do with shoes.

Sheldon: Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?
Penny: Hey, you don't have to be so mean.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, (smiling) have you suffered a recent blow to the head?

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard! What are you doing in there?
Howard: I'm taking a bath.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I hope that's all you're doing, we share that tub.
Howard: Don't remind me.

Ira Flatow: Thanks for being with us today, Dr. Cooper.
Sheldon: My pleasure, Ira.
Ira Flatow: Now, let's talk about magnetic monopoles. Can you explain to our audience just what a monopole is?
Sheldon: Of course. First, consider an ordinary magnet, which has, as even the most uneducated (voice becoming high-pitched) in your audience must know, two poles (clears throat) a north and south pole. If you cut that in half, you have 2 smaller magnets each with it's own north and south pole.
Ira Flatow: Dr. Cooper, I think there might be something wrong with our connection.
Sheldon: No, I hear you fine. As I was saying, an ordinary magnet has 2 poles. The primary characteristics of a monopoles is that it has only one pole, hence, "monopole".

Penny: Yo, Raj, talk to me. I'm sorry, just screwing with you.

Leonard: You know, when Sheldon gives you homework, you don't have to do it.
Raj: In fact, it's better if you don't. Otherwise, it makes the rest of us look bad.

Raj: I was on the radio, once. I called in to Fever 104 FM New Dehli and was the fourth person to say the phrase that pays: Fever 104 (speaking Hindi).
*The guys stare at Raj*
Raj: That means "Fever 104: Home of the really good current music."
Raj: It's much catchier in Hindi.

Sheldon: Are we talking "date", the social interaction or "date" the dried fruit?

Penny: Why are you back from your date so early?
Howard: Well, in romance, as in show business, always leave them wanting more.
Penny: What exactly does that mean?
Leonard: He struck out.

Raj: Ha-ha! Eat my dust, racially stereotypical plumber.
Sheldon: That's not fair! I got stuck behind a tree.
Raj: And a cow, and a penguin. Face it dude, whether it's a real car or a virtual car, you can't drive.
Sheldon: Just need a little more practice.
Raj: What you need is cheat codes, motor skills and a genie who grants wishes to little boys who sucks at MarioKart.

Penny: That is so sad.
Sheldon: No, what's sad is that you don't know Adam West is TV's Batman.

Raj: You own the damn thing, just take a freaking sweater.
Sheldon: I didn't turn a profit last quarter by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly.

Howard: So Sheldon, how's it feel to be beaten up by a girl?
Sheldon: It's not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero.

Sheldon: What's funny about Cylon toast?