Leonard: Please, I'm asking you as a friend.
Sheldon: Are you making this a tier one friendship request?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Fine.

Sheldon: Yeah, yeah. All right, Poindexter, sit down, shut up and listen.
Leonard: I'm sorry?
Sheldon: That's how my father always began our football conversations. And if you'd like, after the game, I'll take you outside and teach you how to shoot close enough to a raccoon that it craps itself.

Leonard: When are you going to stop making Cylon toast?
Sheldon: When I have enough to destroy all the human toast on the battlestar known as Galactica.

Sheldon: Is that what you're wearing to watch football at Penny's?
Leonard: What's wrong with a football jersey?
Sheldon: Nothing. That, however, appears to be a football cocktail dress.

Sheldon: Hold on I believe that social convention dictate you not arrive empty-handed. Would you like to bring some Cylon toast?
Leonard: Yeah, no, I'm trying to fit in, not get laughed at.
Sheldon: What's funny about Cylon toast?

Howard: I brought you a little gift. New kite.
Raj: The kite you made me lose was an authentic Patang, an Indian fighting kite that my brother sent to me from New Delhi. It took me a day to put together and two days to paint. This is Hello Kitty.
Howard: Yeah, but it comes with a little coin purse. Does a Patang?

Leonard: Go! Go! Go! Go, go, go, go! Yes! Are you people watching this? Is this amazing or what?
Penny: Sweetie, that's a highlight from the '98 championship game.
Leonard: Oh. Did not know that.
Penny: How much beer have you had?
Leonard: None. Why?
Penny: Oh. I was just kind of hoping you were drunk. Now we're back live.
Leonard: Okay, yeah. I can see the difference.

Sheldon: So Leonard, how goes the mimesis?
Leonard: Mimesis?
Sheldon: You know. Mimesis. An action in which the mimic takes on the properties of a specific object or organism. Mimesis.
Leonard: What the hell are you talking about?
Sheldon: I'm attempting to communicate with you without my meaning becoming apparent to those around you. Let me try again. Have the indigenous fauna accepted you as one of their own? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Leonard: So, by friend, do you mean friend friend, gay friend, or ex boyfriend who you're now platonic with but still might have a thing for your friend?
Penny: Well, he's definitely not gay.
Leonard: Oh, a definitely not gay musician sleeping on my girlfriend's couch. Yippee!

Penny: Oh and FYI, you never even heard of The Black Eyed Peas until you met me.
Leonard: I'd heard of them. Didn't know they were a band.

Raj: I don't care! And why don't you think I can find a woman for myself?
Mrs. Koothrappali: Because you're twenty-seven, and the closest thing we have to a daughter-in-law is that Jewish boy Howard.

Penny: All right, five. One, two, three, four, five. Oh, wow, look at that, my Department of Defense research grant is renewed.
Sheldon: Oh! Great roll! Now you can demolish your Soviet-style cyclotron and build the large Hadron Collider.
Penny: Yay.

Sheldon: Hey, I thought of a game we can play in the car.
Leonard: I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It's called Scientists. Now, I will name three scientists, then you will put them in order of the size of their contribution to their respective fields. To make this game even more compelling, you must consider only the contribution of the man to the field, not the validity of the field itself. For example, Abu Musa Jabir ibn Hayn made a greater contribution to the discredited field of alchemy than Halbert Vanderplatt made to neurobiology. Okay, ready to have some fun?

Sheldon: Leonard! Stop the car!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I can't listen to the two of you fight anymore.

Sheldon: Come on, come on, we're late.
Leonard: Calm down, we'll make the movie.
Sheldon: I believe my alarm is appropriate, given the situation. The movie starts in 17 minutes, which means we'll need to make all the lights on Colorado Boulevard, plus skip the concession stand, and pre-show urination.