Sheldon: Excuse me. Wolverine Origin, mini series issue two, page 22, retractable bone claws. You know, if you three spent less time thinking about sex and more time concentrating on comic books, we would have much less of these embarrassing moments.

Leonard: Ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction in the nerve cells and stimulates re-uptake receptors of inhibitory neurotransmitters like gamma-amino butyric acid.

Sheldon: Could we focus on what's important here? I lost a bet to Wolowitz!

Wolowitz: I think that you and Penny had a poor night.
Leonard: It wasn't poor. It was ... just fine.
Raj: Dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was just fine.

Penny: Hey Sheldon, whattcha got there a new comic book?
Sheldon: Old comic book. I just got it from the safe deposit box.
Penny: What do you have a safe deposit box for?
Sheldon: Old comic books.

Leonard: I bet I could throw a rock in this room and come up with three better friends!

Howard: What's the matter, you chicken?
Sheldon: I've always found that an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not by nature at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
Raj: Chickens can't climb trees.
Sheldon: Thank God.
Howard: Okay, I believe the chicken made you his bitch.

Sheldon: Another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess.
Howard: Shiksa. Shiksa.
Sheldon: Forgive me, Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas, and if it was, it wasn't spoken for long.

Crawley: Ha-ha. Don't knock, just walk in. Why be polite to the world's leading expert on the dung beetle?

Crawley: I've been studying insects since I was 8 years old. You know what they use to call me in school? Creepy Crawley!

Howard: Could you look at Toby?
Crawley: Toby? What a stupid name for a cricket.
Sheldon: (To Howard) Told you.

Sheldon: Professor, can you identify our cricket?
Crawley: Of course I can. I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet. Not that that's gonna keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard. And we're not talking Oxnard at the beach. No, we're talking Oxnard in the onion fields!

Raj: I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight.

Leonard: Nothing flamed out. We don't have to have sex every night, you know.
Howard: You don't have to, but it's highly recommended.
Raj: Yeah, take advantage of that window of opportunity before it slams shut on your little dinky.

Leonard: It's not a matter of opportunity. We're getting to know each other. There's a learning curve.
Howard: What's there to learn? You get naked, do nasty things to each other, then somebody makes scrambled eggs and salami. Easy peasy.