Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for 'soup' tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not 'soup'; it's 'courage'.
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Sheldon: Stop it both of you! All this fighting, I might as well be back with my parents!
*Imitating his Mom* Dammit, George! I told you if you didn't quit drinking I would leave you!
*Imitating his Dad* Well, I guess that makes you a liar, because I'm drunk as hell and you are still here!
*Imitating his Mom* Stop yelling, you're making Sheldon cry!
*Imitating his Dad* I'll tell you what is making Sheldon cry, that I let you name him SHELDON!

Leonard:What am I supposed to say? Sure, Penny, I'm cool with having your old boyfriend sleep in your apartment.
Leonard imitating Penny: Well, Leonard, it doesn't matter if you're cool or not, 'cause I'm penny and I'm pretty and I can do whatever the hell I want.

Rajesh: Excuse me but I don't think Penny is out of line at all. You don't own her. It's like my girl Beyonce says: If you like it you should've put a ring on it.

Sheldon: Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago I told you not to talk to her, and now look. We're going to be late for the movies.

Sheldon: I should have asked for much more than a comic book and a robot.

Raj: Sorry doesn't make up for the fact that I had to cook chicken and rice with this vegan guy. You know what vegan chicken and rice is? It's rice!

Sheldon: You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.

Sheldon: Excuse me. You're misusing the word 'ho'. It's an interjection used to call attention to a destination, not an object, as in 'land ho' or 'westward ho'.

Howard: Maybe that's what this whole thing's about. You're not mad at me, you're mad at yourself.
Raj: No, I'm mad at you. I hate myself, but I'm mad at you.

Wil Wheaton: Game over, Moonpie.

Wil Wheaton: Did that guy just say "Revenge is a dish best served cold" to me in Klingon?

Leonard: How about that, Einstein was wrong.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Approaching the speed of light doesn't slow down time, approaching them does.

Girl: What are you gonna get, Raj?
Raj: With my luck, hepatitis.

Sheldon: There's a fine line between wrong and visionary. Unfortunately, you have to be a visionary to see it.