Howard: A few extra bucks would be nice. I could finally move out of my mother's house.
Raj: Where would you go?
Howard: I always dreamed about building a little place of my own over the garage.

Sheldon: She befriends them and then lies in wait until they reveal a marketable idea, which she steals and sells to the highest bidder.
Leonard: That's ridiculous.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? Well, let's see you come up with an explanation as to why this woman hangs out with us all the time.
Penny: Oh, great. You know what? I've already mooched dinner off you guys. I don't need to listen to this.
Howard: There's your answer: free food.

Raj: Hey, why am I in charge of phone support? Seems a bit racist.
Sheldon: A customer service representative with an Indian accent will create the impression that we're a vast enterprise that uses overseas call centers.
Raj: Oh, very clever. But still racist.
Sheldon: Duly noted, Steve from Wichita.

Howard: Why am I listed as your executive assistant?
Sheldon: Because the word secretary has fallen into disrepute. FYI, my mother's birthday is coming up. I'm going to need you to pick up a present.

Sheldon: Look at the organizational chart. You're clearly listed as founder.
Leonard: Well, yes, and you're listed as Chief Executive Officer, Chief Financial Officer and Chief Operating Officer.
Sheldon: You missed Chief Science Officer, Chairman of the Board, and Head of the Secret Santa Committee.

Sheldon: All right, I suppose I'll go put on my bus pants.
Leonard: What the hell are bus pants?
Sheldon: They are pants one wears over one's regular pants when one sits on bus seats that other people have previously sat on. But perhaps from your lofty heights atop the corporate ladder, you've lost touch with the struggles of the common man.

Raj: I think we should take a picture to capture this moment.
Leonard: Yeah! (Fart noise)
Raj: Was that the best 99 cents I ever spent, or what!

Howard: Ma, Ma, calm down. Listen to me. I know it says click with the mouse, but on a laptop, the trackpad is the mouse. Now, put your finger on it. Doesn't matter which finger. Good choice. Now move it down to your e-mail icon. Yeah, the little envelope. What do you mean, what does it look like? It looks like an envelope! Fine, you don't like the computer, don't use it! Sure, we can exchange it for a salad spinner. Goodbye!

Sheldon: You know, Leonard, that's actually a valid idea. Very good.
Leonard: Can you say that and not make it sound like I'm a cat who learned how to use the toilet?
Sheldon: No. The two achievements are equally surprising and equally admirable. Though if pressed, I'd have to give a slight edge to the cat.

Sheldon: I'll save you the pain and nervousness of waiting for the answer. I agree to be part of your project. Congratulations.
Leonard: Oh, yay for me.

Raj: You know, if I made more money, I could take time off from work and give pretty girls submarine rides.
Howard: What's that? Some weird sex thing?
Raj: No. You take pretty girls underwater in your private submarine, and you show them fish. Why does everything have to be dirty with you?

Leonard: I checked the App Store. No one is doing handwriting recognition differential equation solving.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord, shush.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You have so few good ideas, Leonard. And you're just going to spill the beans in front of an outsider?
Penny: Who, me?
Howard: Sheldon, I don't think Penny cares about handwriting recognition-based differential...
Sheldon: (singing over them) The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas.

Leonard: She's not going to steal our idea.
Penny: What idea?
Leonard: We're gonna write an application...
Sheldon: [sings] The prairie sky is wide and high, deep in the heart...
Penny: Okay, stop, stop!
Sheldon: [meekly] ...of Texas.

Penny: Whatever your secret is, I'm sure it's boring, so I'm not interested.
Leonard: It's not boring at all. You see, in higher order mathematics, there are certain sets of equations that...
Penny: Bored.
Leonard: Satisfied?
Sheldon: Hardly. Consider this unlikely but very plausible scenario. A young woman alone in the big city, her ridiculous dream of becoming an actress lies shattered about her.
Penny: Hey, wait a minute.
Howard: Well, hang on. Let's see where he's going.
Sheldon: Then it hits her. How is she going to survive? I mean, she has no prospects, no marketable skills. And then one day, she meets a group of geniuses and their friend Howard.
Howard: Hey...
Penny: Hang on. Let's see where he's going.

Sheldon: All right. All right, I'm not going to argue with you. Sheldon Cooper is nothing if not a team player. Dr. Hofstadter, you have the conn.
Leonard: Thank you. I thought we might start by talking about the user interface.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord, we're doomed.