Sheldon: Wait. Uh, which is closer to the new train store in Monrovia, the movie theater or the Cheesecake Factory?
Howard: Neither of them are close.
Sheldon: Oh, well, then I guess it doesn't matter which one of you drives me.

Sheldon: Let's play a fun guessing game to see who gets to take me. All right, this four-letter word describes either a printer's type size or a compulsion to eat dirt.
Penny: Okay, Im not driving him.
Sheldon: No, Penny, dont give up, you can get this.

Bernadette: What are you going to get at the train store, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm not buying anything. They're having a lecture. H-O gauge railroading. Half the size of O-gauge, but twice the fun. Very controversial topic.
Howard: Which side do you come down on?
Sheldon: I'll let you know after tonight. Unlike some people, I'm going in with an open mind. Who am I kidding? Of course we all know it's O-gauge or no gauge.

Howard: First of all, they're not tricks, they're illusions. And, secondly, when we get married, they're all going up in the attic so you can have that closet for clothes.
Bernadette: Why would I keep clothes at your mother's house?
Howard: Well, don't think of it that way. Once we move in, it'll be our house.
Bernadette: Is she moving out?
Howard: Why would she move out? It's her house.

Bernadette: Hang on. You seriously think I'm going to live with your mother?
Sheldon: Howard, I think I can help here. Yes, Bernadette, that's exactly what he thinks.
Howard: Why not? It's a great house, plenty of room, and if we have kids, Mom's there to help. You know, when she tells the Three Little Pigs story, she actually has hair on her chinny-chin-chin.
Bernadette: I'm not gonna live with your mother. Not now, not ever.
Howard: Wow, someone obviously has some mommy issues.

Bernadette: Raj, take me home.
Howard: Don't listen to her. Go to the movie theater.
Bernadette: Take me home now.
Howard: Movie theater.
Raj: Mmmmmm.
Sheldon: Okay, everybody calm down. There is a simple solution here. Raj, take me to the train store, and then I don't care what you people do.

Amy: How was your shower?
Leonard: It was good, good. Just out of curiosity, what time do you usually go to bed?
Amy: Oh, I'm up all night. I'm like a possum.

Amy: Boy, you were not liked in high school, were you?
Leonard: Not really. Is that my yearbook?
Amy: Mm-hmm. Dear Leonard, you're really good at science. Maybe one day you'll come up with a cure for being a dork.
Leonard: Well, it wasn't spray-painting a lightning bolt on my briefcase, I can tell you that.

Sheldon: Well, you can add Jerry's Junction to the list of train stores Sheldon Cooper will never set foot in again.
Leonard: Rough night, Casey Jones?
Sheldon: You don't know the half of it. It was billed as a lively give-and-take on the merits of model train sizes. But it was actually a set-up to intimidate weak-minded spineless rubes into buying H-O starter sets.
Leonard: What's in the bag?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it. But it's not a spine,I'll tell you that.

Mrs. Wolowitz: I don't know who you're talking to, but in or out! We don't need bugs!
Howard: The bugs only come here because you're their queen!

Penny: You're a brain scientist. Can you explain to me why a brilliant man likes playing with toy trains?
Amy: Not without cutting his head open, no.

Amy: How about making my eyes like Cleopatra?
Penny: Really? For a wedding?
Amy: Perhaps you're right. My cheekbones and beckoning pelvis already have a certain hello sailor quality to them.

Leonard: Ready.
Penny: Aww, so handsome. Like James Bond.
Sheldon: Better than James Bond, because he's tinier!

Howard: So, dinner went nice.
Bernadette: Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Does your mother always cut your meat for you?
Howard: Only when it's fatty. Well, don't be jealous, babe. Someday you'll get to cut it for me.

Amy: Would you like to dance?
Leonard: No, thank you. I'm really not much of a dancer.
Amy: You're not exactly winning any trophies as a conversationalist, either.