Raj: Thanks again for letting me crash girls' night.
Penny: Are you kidding? You brought fancy wine and made fondue. I've slept with guys for less.
It's a joke. Based on real events.

Sheldon: I believe in a gender blind society like in Star Trek. Where women and men of all races and creeds worked side-by-side as equals.
Leonard: You mean where they were advanced enough to develop an interstellar warp drive, but a black lady still answered the space phone?

Sheldon: (Typing into a search engine) How do I get 12-year-old schoolgirls excited?
Howard and Leonard: No!

Raj: Anyway I was hoping I could pick your brains a little. I'm supposed to take Lucy out Friday and I need a killer first date.
Amy: Well, evolutionary biology says that women are attractive to a man who is steady in the face of danger, so I recommend an unsafe environment. A seedy bar on the wrong side of the tracks. Picnic near a lunatic asylum. A wine tasting on skid row.

Leonard: Guys, please don't make this a school project where I'm the smartest kid doing all the work while the slackers sit back and watch.
Sheldon: We're not. This time you're the smart kid doing all the work while the even smarter kids sit back and watch.
Howard: So, you think I'm one of the smarter kids?
Sheldon: No, you're a tool I was using to make my point.

Howard: Come on. If I was any good at convincing women to do stuff, I wouldn't have spent so much of my 20s in the shower.

Sheldon: People should take care of themselves.
Leonard: Oh, like yesterday when you made me drive you to the dry cleaners, the pharmacy and the post office?
Sheldon: I'm not saying people can't use tools. Even an otter picks up a rock when he wants a clam.

Leonard: So now let's bring out theoretical physicist, Dr, Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon: Hello, female children. Allow me to inspire you with a story about a great female scientist. Polish-born, French-educated Madame Curie. Co-discover of radioactivity. She was a hero of science until her hair fell out, her vomit and stool became filled with blood, and she was poisoned to death by her own discovery. With a little hard work, I see no reason why that can't also happen to any of you. Are we done? Can we go?

Amy: Sheldon, all Snow White needs is one small kiss to wake up.
Sheldon: Heard you the first time.

Bert: (To Lucy, after speaking to Raj) You can do better!

Leonard: I never wanted to play the cello. How do you meet girls playing the cello? Hey, you want to come over to my house and listen to me play an instrument that sounds like a suicidal bumblebee?

Leonard: I'm thinking one way to counter bias in the peer-review process is for papers to be submitted under gender-neutral names. Like S. Smith instead of Samantha Smith.
Sheldon: I supposed there is a history for professional women using their initials so as not to be pre-judged. Harry Potter's J.K. Rowling, Star Trek's D.C. Fontana.
Howard: Van Nuys pole dancer D.D. Melons.

Sheldon: Some people are otters, some people are rocks.

Raj: Excuse me, I’m meeting a girl here. It’s kind of our first date.
Bert: In a library?
Raj: She and I are both a little awkward in social situations, so this seemed like a good idea.
Bert: People say I’m a little awkward, too.

Girl: So you just flew around? That's kind of like my uncle. He's a flight attendant.
Howard: No, I'm an American hero. Your uncle brings people nuts, okay?