Howard: To tell you the truth, I'm not really in the mood.
Bernadette: What are you talking about? It'll be fun. All your friends'll be there.
Howard: Yeah, some friends. They all think I'm boring. Maybe you should go without me.
Bernadette: No, if I'm there alone, people might think I'm just a really short person from Avatar.

Howard: I'm sorry. I just don't want to go.
Bernadette: Hey, I just spent the last three hours colouring myself blue. I'm gonna be washing paint out of my Smurf for a month!

Penny: Oh, my God, you guys look adorable.
Bernadette: Thanks, so do you. Slutty cop?
Penny: No, sexy cop. Slutty cop only came with a skirt and two badges.
Bernadette: And Albert Einstein?
Leonard: Ja, und later zhe's going to arrest me for goinc fashter zan da shpeed of light.
Penny: I thought we said in the car, no accents?
Leonard: Sorry, Officer.

Howard: You're my wife. You're supposed to be on my side.
Bernadette: I'm always on your side.
Howard: Then why are you trying to take this away from me? Being an astronaut is the coolest thing I'm ever gonna do. If I stop talking about it, then I'm just...
Bernadette: Just what?
Howard: Just plain old Howard Wolowitz again.
Bernadette: Plain old Howard Wolowitz is the best guy I know.
Howard: You're just saying that.
Bernadette: No, I'm not. I married him. On purpose. Come here.
Howard: I love you.
Bernadette: I love you, too.

Howard: Wow, so you guys are like buds now?
Raj: Oh, yeah, we hang out all the time.
Stuart: Plus, he doesn't have a girlfriend, I don't have a girlfriend.
Raj: It's like we both had these holes in our lives, but now we fill each other's holes.
Stuart: That sounds a little funny to an American ear.
Raj: Which part?
Stuart: Just all of it.

Leonard: I don't have a problem with Stuart. Besides, he gives us a 20% discount at his comic book store.
Sheldon: Well, I don't sell my friendship that cheaply.
Stuart: I can go 30.
Sheldon: Welcome aboard, old chum.

Sheldon: Yeah, you had a good run, fake Wolowitz. We'll remember you with nostalgic fondness. The way we do the dial-up modem, the VHS tape, or Leonard's gym membership.

Crowd at the airport: There he is! Howie! Howie!
Wolowitz: Whoa, thank you. Great to be back on Earth.
Howie Mandel: Uh, I think they're here for me, Ringo.

Penny: You're unbelievable.
Sheldon: I know.

Sheldon: You know, I am very disappointed that I won't be able to celebrate Howard's accomplishment tonight.
Amy: Me, too. But we'll see him tomorrow.
Sheldon: Yes, it's just that in all the years I've known him, he's never had the opportunity to receive my admiration. I was excited to see the look on his face when it finally happened.

Penny: Once again, unbelievable.
Sheldon: Yeah, once again, I know.

Leonard: In what universe is that a present?
Sheldon: It's not a present, it's the present. Look. There's you and me. It's Penny and Amy. We're playing Pictionary. In the present.
Penny: Oh, my God, we're gonna kill them.

Sheldon: The word is Polish. See, look.
Polish sausage. And the model of the solar system developed by Nicolaus Copernicus, a Polish astronomer. And then, finally, if that wasn't enough, which it should've been, this is Madame Curie killing herself by discovering radium, who, although she was a naturalized French citizen, was Polish by birth.
Penny: Excuse me, the word is polish. See? Small p.
Sheldon: Ah! So it is. I guess we both share blame on this one.

Sheldon: All games are made up. They're not found in nature. You don't just dig in the ground, and come across a rich vein of Rock'em Sock'em Robots.

Amy: We could go to the cadaver lab at UCLA and play real-life Operation.
Leonard: Uh-uh.
Sheldon: No.
Penny: I don't think so.
Amy: Are you sure? I mean, the nose doesn't light up, but if the corpse is fresh enough, sometimes you can get the leg to jerk.