Sheldon: Well, anyway, um, you may find this hard to believe, but I didn't have any friends growing up.
Professor Proton: No, I, I get that.

Sheldon: But, um, I did have you. And every day at four o'clock, you'd come to my house on Channel 68, and we'd do science together. If it hadn't been for you, well, who knows what would've become of me? You know? Instead of a world-class physicist, I could've wound up as a hobo. Or a surgeon.
Leonard: I bet there are important discoveries being made every day because you inspired millions of kids to pursue science. In a way, their discoveries are your discoveries.
Sheldon: Yeah, it's true. A generation of young scientists are standing on your shoulders.
Professor Proton: Well, thank, thank you, guys. That, that, that means a lot.

Sheldon: Met my childhood hero, now I get to ride in an ambulance. Boy, if we can get him to do that calendar, this'll be the best day ever.

Howard: (Skype tone) It's Raj. Stay quiet. Hey, bad timing. Bernadette just took Cinnamon out for a walk.
Raj: Hmm. Interesting. Did they take a walk down Liars' Lane?
Howard: What?
Raj: A lane frequented by liars. Like you, you big liar.

Bernadette: Hang on, you've had her for hours?
Raj: Yes. I picked her up, and then we both went for massages to try and calm down. And then we got Pinkberry.
Bernadette: So you knew she was okay, and you couldn't pick up the phone to tell us?
Raj: Well, I, I thought about-
Bernadette: Don't well me, mister. We've been worried sick. She could have been dead for all we knew. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Raj: Sorry. I, I just-
Bernadette: Sorry's not good enough. Maybe you need to take some time and think about what you've done. (ends the Skype call)
Howard: Nice guilt trip. You are gonna be an amazing mom!

Professor Proton: But I, I do, I do have a favor to, to ask.
Sheldon: Name it.
Professor Proton: Well, I'm, I'm booked to do a children's party tomorrow, and, um, frankly I, you know, I, I don't feel up to it.
Sheldon: Oh, you're not. You look awful.
Professor Proton: Thank you. Anyway, uh, I mean, you know my act better than anybody. I was, I was hoping that maybe, you know, maybe you'd fill in for me.
Sheldon: Are you saying that you want me to be Professor Proton?
Professor Proton: Yeah.
Sheldon: Oh, my. What an honor. Oh, this is like being asked to ascend Mount Olympus and dine with the gods.
Professor Proton: Or a Korean family in Alhambra.
Sheldon: But they'll know I'm not you. Should I call myself Professor Proton, Jr.?
Professor Proton: Sounds great.
Sheldon: So, in a way it's like I'm your son.
Professor Proton: What- Whatever.
Sheldon: Father.
Professor Proton: Sure, what the hell.

Leonard: See, Howard's just as good a dungeon master as I am.
Sheldon: As good? You just got pantsed in the schoolyard, four eyes.

Bernadette: Burbank Airport, please.
Penny: Vegas, here we come.
Bernadette: No husbands, no boyfriends, no rules.
Amy: No rules? We're not gonna get drunk and have a six way with the Blue Man Group, are we?
Penny: No.
Amy: So there are some rules.
Bernadette: Fine. No husbands, no boyfriends, some rules.
Amy: Thank you. Vegas!

Howard: The ladies are away, the boys will play.
Raj: Anything can happen.
Leonard: It's gonna get crazy.
Sheldon: Dungeons & Dragons!

Amy: I got some old underwear I'm gonna throw on stage at the Garth Brooks concert.
Penny: I'm sorry, why old?
Amy: 'Cause last time I saw him, I threw new ones and it got me nothing.

Sheldon: I've got a brand-new seven piece set of polyhedral dice. Hello, new dice smell.
Leonard: I've got my helm of lordly might, my boots of speed, and if things get too exciting, my inhaler of asthma.
Raj: I got my new bloodthirsty savage warrior who will lay waste to all who stand before him. And I had a sensible salad for lunch, so I can eat all the pizza I want.
Howard: Come on, are we gonna sit around chatting like a bunch of teenage girls, or are we gonna play D&D like a bunch of teenage boys who are never gonna have sex with those teenage girls?

Sheldon: I'm not sure how I feel about Howard being dungeon master instead of you.
Leonard: Oh, that's nice. But relax, sometimes change is good. You were worried about Zachary Quinto being the new Spock, but you wound up liking him.
Sheldon: Oh, please. Every time the topic of change comes up, you throw Zachary Quinto in my face. I'm upset the mailman has a new haircut, Zachary Quinto. I'm upset that daylight saving time started, Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight saving time ended, Zachary Quinto. I'm saying this for the last time, Zachary Quinto was a weird, wonderful, unrepeatable event. So stop using him against me.

Raj: Oh, Lucy's free after all. See ya.
Leonard: Hey, hey, hey. You can't leave. We just started.
Raj: You're right, I should finish the game. I take my plus-one long sword, stab myself in the face with it. I'm dead. I've got a date with a girl. Bye.

Amy: You guys enjoy your evening. I'm gonna go before I ruin anybody else's weekend.
Sheldon: Ah, that's my girl.

Leonard: Amy, wait. I know it's not the night you had in mind, but why don't you guys stay and play with us? It'll be fun.
Sheldon: It would? Fun? Okay, three weeks ago you bought crunchy peanut butter, now you want the girls to play D&D? Do you have a drug problem?