Penny: Okay, who wants a drink?
Sheldon: Now, Penny, we don't consume alcohol during Dungeons & Dragons. It impairs our judgment.
Penny: Oh, this isn't alcohol. It's a magic potion that makes me like you.
Leonard: Double potion, please.

Penny: You know what? Give me the dice, I want to roll.
Howard: The dungeon master's supposed to roll.
Penny: Yeah, well Im supposed to be in Vegas throwing up on a shrimp buffet. Now give it.

Penny: Fifteen's the point, the point is fifteen. Give the little lady some room. Here it is, coming out. Sixteen! Yes! Oh, please tell me we're playing for money.
Sheldon: Oh, even better than money. You gained experience points.
Penny: More potion, please.

Leonard: All right, Amy, there's one ogre left. Take him out.
Amy: Okay.
Penny: Pretend he's that TSA agent. Come on.
Amy: Nineteen. Yes, this is turning out to be even better than Vegas.
Penny: No, it's not.

Raj: Lucy?
Lucy: Hey, long time no see.
Raj: You don't know me very well, but each time you crawl out a bathroom window to escape my company, it chips away at my masculinity.

Sheldon: Oh, I don't know about you guys, but I have been through the emotional wringer tonight.
Bernadette: This may be the potion talking, but you are one fine-ass dungeon master.
Howard: Oh, yeah? Well, when we get home, I'm gonna take you on a whole different adventure.
Sheldon: Another quest by Wolowitz? Count me in.
Amy: Sheldon, they're talking about sex.
Sheldon: Oh, then I'm out.

Howard: The love spell takes effect. When Sheldon looks at Amy, she is the most beautiful half-orc he's ever seen, and he's overcome with a desire to rip her armor off and gaze fondly at her four hairy breasts. When Amy sees Sheldon, he looks, well, just like Sheldon, 'cause apparently she’s into that.

Amy: You don't have to come in here and cheer me up.
Sheldon: Thank you. Would you go tell everyone else that? Because they sure think otherwise.

Amy: I'll tell you what they think. They think our relationship is a joke.
Sheldon: Well, I don't think our relationship is a joke. I think "a horse goes into a bar, bartender says, why the long face?", that's a joke. It's a good one, too, because a horse has a long face.
Amy: Sheldon, are we ever going to have an intimate relationship?
Sheldon: Oh, my. That's an uncomfortable topic. Amy, before I met you, I never had any interest in being intimate with anyone.
Amy: And now?
Sheldon: And now what?
Amy: Do you have any interest now?
Sheldon: I have not ruled it out.
Amy: Wow. Talk dirty to me.

Raj: So, anyway, last night on video chat, I spent like twenty minutes just staring into Lucy's eyes.
Leonard: Oh, that sounds romantic.
Raj: It was, until I realized the screen had frozen. Still one of my top three dates of all time.

Sheldon: Yeah, I used to be uncomfortable around people, but then I learned a trick. I pretend everyone I meet is a beloved character from Star Trek.
Howard: How's that been working for you?
Sheldon: Oh, like a charm, unnamed crewman in a red shirt.

Penny: So then during the afternoon shift, I spilled an entire tray of drinks on myself.
Leonard: Oh, that's awful.
Penny: Not really. My shirt was soaking wet. I got like the biggest tip of my life.

Penny: Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh, sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Sheldon: Don't worry, officer. They just love each other. We're not smuggling drugs.

Howard: Leonard, I may have gotten you a job.
Leonard: I have a job.
Sheldon: Yes, he does. He caters to my every whim.