Bernadette: Whoa, Drinky Smurf.

Penny: You know, I remember my first bikini wax. My sister did it with duct tape and melted Crayolas. To this day, I can't look at a box of crayons without crossing my legs.

Sheldon: You know what they say. Revenge is a dish best served nude.

Sheldon: So I can't wear my Silver Surfer necktie but you can wear a bathrobe?

Amy: I don't need your medicine. I'm not really sick. I got better two days ago.
Bernadette: I don't understand.
Amy: It's been so nice having Sheldon take care of me, I just wanted that to last longer.
Bernadette: You should tell him.
Amy: I know.
Sheldon: (From the other room) Amy! Are you strong enough to bathe yourself, or do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.

Howard: Yeah, well, my quality father-son time was spending my adolescence looking out the window waiting for my dad to come back someday.
Raj: Yeah, okay, Howard wins.

Sheldon: You know, its a tad old-school, but my father was not one to spare the rod when my brother would sneak into his truck and drink his driving whiskey.
Amy: You want to spank me?

Sheldon: Your threats are empty. Nothing can move me.
(Howard drives his car slowly towards Sheldon, pushing his chair forward)
Sheldon: That's it! I'm calling campus security! You prepare for the scolding of your life!

(Howard's car horn blares)
(Sheldon puts his headphones on)
Howard: Those aren't going to help you, Sheldon!
Sheldon: Oh yes, they are. I mean, what?

Howard: (Slams his car door) Will you please talk some sense into your lunatic roommate?
Leonard: You're both acting like lunatics!

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Amy: Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.
Bernadette: You're right. And, I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
Amy: If and when?

Sheldon: Leonard, make Howard stop being naked in my spot!

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Amy.
*knock knock knock* Amy
*knock knock knock* Angry Amy.

Sheldon: Someday scientists will discover that second X chromosome contains nothing but nonsense and twaddle.