Leonard: Why did I pee before I decided to move in here?

Raj: It wasn't a pajama party. It was just a couple of bros hanging out, giggling, eating cookie dough and watching Princess Bride.
Howard: Please stop talking.
Raj: As you wish.

Howard: I lived with her to save money.
Raj: Yeah, you didn't need to buy groceries because you were breast feeding.

Sheldon: If you're hungry, I brought home mutton and coconut milk.
Penny: Why'd you do that? You hate lamb.
Sheldon: I was asking for directions. Apparently there was a communication problem.

Sheldon: My point is we're a couple and I like you for who you are - quirks and all.
Amy: I like you too.
Sheldon: I should hope so. I don't see anybody else banging on this door to put up with your nonsense.
*Amy slams the door on Sheldon*
Sheldon: Not even a goodbye? You see this is the kind of thing that makes people think you're weird. ... Poor kid. She just doesn't see it.

Sheldon: I hate to pile on the bad news, but I just got a raise.

Raj: Okay. So in the last twenty minutes we've seen a crazy woman kissing a foetus in a jar. We've seen a guy cut in half and sown to a fish.
Howard: And the brutal dismemberment of a rotisserie chicken by my mother.

Sheldon: Look, a new topical antihistamine with lidocaine. Wow! I can't wait 'til I get a rash.

Leonard: Ooh, Gasex has a new ultra-strength. I guess they really do read their mail.

Sheldon: Hey, isn't that Professor Proton?
Leonard: Oh, yeah.
Sheldon: Look at him just standing in line, like he wasn't moderately famous thirty years ago.
Sheldon: Let's go say hello.
Leonard: Oh, maybe we shouldn't bother him.
Sheldon: I'm not going to bother him. I'm going to talk to him.
Leonard: He thinks there's a difference.

Raj: Excuse me, I happen to be very comfortable with my masculinity.
Howard: How is that possible?

Bernadette: It just seems silly for us to sit in two groups.
Leonard: It's not silly if you think of that group as being led by a big, evil baby.

Howard: Look who's here to put the Jew in Jewellery night.

Raj: Since Sheldon isn't coming to Comic Con with us, why don't we dress up as some sort of trio?
Leonard: Or we could just be the Fantastic Four and tell everyone that the Invisible Girl is standing right next to us.

Beverly Hofstadter: Let me save you all of your hemming and hawing. Sheldon already told me that you and Penny are engaged.
Leonard: I hate that you talk to him more than you talk to me.
Beverly Hofstadter: Would you like for me and you to talk more?
Leonard: You know, it's probably fine.