Raj: So we tell him she's a lesbian?
Howard: Of course we tell him she's a lesbian.

Bert: Thanks for coming to the mineral and rock show with me.
Raj: We're sorry Amy didn't want to go.
Howard: Really, really sorry.

Bert: You know what, uh, geologists and Bon Jovi have in common?
Howard: You're both into rock?
Bert: Yeah.

Sheldon: I told you, buying scalped tickets is against the rules. If you get caught you get banned for life. Life, Leonard. You're going to feel pretty silly when we're eighty years old and you have to drive me down there and sit in the car for three days.

Leonard: Look, even your friend Wil Wheaton thinks this is a waste of time.
Sheldon: Not true. Wil thinks this is a great idea. He was just concerned he wasn't a big enough celebrity to headline such an event. Also it's the same day he shampoos his beard.

Sheldon: Gentlemen, I am one step away from securing a huge guest for my convention.
Leonard: Does that step include chloroform and a roll of duct tape?

Sheldon: I don't think that will be necessary for Mr. James Earl Jones. You heard me. The voice of Darth Vader, The Lion King's dad and, FYI, the guy who says "This is CNN" - who also sounds like Darth Vader.

Raj: Does he sound like a criminal?
Howard: What do you mean?
Raj: You know, did he say things like "youse guys" or "listen here, say".
Leonard: Yes, he's late because he's on his way here from 1940.

James Earl Jones: I say let's go have some fun. My wife's in New York and I got a Lion King residual check burning a hole in my pocket.

Sheldon: My friends and I couldn't get into Comic-Con this year, and I was trying to start my own convention, and I was going to ask if you'd be a panelist.
James Earl Jones: Why don't you and your friends come to Comic-Con with me?
Sheldon: Really?
James Earl Jones: Of course. And San Diego is straight across the border from my favorite city on earth, TIJUANA! Where I'm taking you every night!
Sheldon: Ay-ay-ay.
James Earl Jones: Ay-ay-ay bang bang!

Amy: Item 28 - Your Pet Name for me. Time is running out on this. You need to make a decision.
Sheldon: I submitted you a notarized list.
Amy: I'm sorry but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable.
Sheldon: Well, you don't like Princess Corncob, you don't like Fester, you're just impossible to please.

Penny: Should we take this little party to the bedroom?
Leonard: We don't have to. We have the whole place to ourselves.
Penny: Oh, that's true.
Leonard: In fact, if you want, we can do it right here on Sheldon's spot.
Penny: That is the least sexy thing anyone's ever said to me.

Sheldon: How many trains have you been on?
Eric: Tons. A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago. Now I just collect disability and ride trains.
Sheldon: Wow. Your life's amazing.
Eric: Not always. A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago. Now I just collect disability and ride trains.

Raj: Ha ha, very funny. Make fun of the foreign guy. For your information, there are four times as many Indians as Americans so the way we say it is right.
Howard: Say what?
Raj: "Moose-stache".

Sheldon: Wait, is this really worth it? We've lived together for years without ne'ery an argument, but we start talking about a table and suddenly we're at each other's throats.
Leonard: Ne'ery an argument?! Ne'ery!?!
Sheldon: That means not one or not any. Maybe instead of a table you should buy a dictionary.
Sheldon: (To himself) Well, I don't know whether I won that but at least he's upset.