Bernadette: Faster, faster, faster! Do you not know that word? It means more fast!
Leonard: Stop yelling at me.
Bernadette: Hey, you'll know when I'm yelling at you.

Howard: Yes, to be fair, do people who went to Princeton get a head start?
Leonard: It's not funny.
Sheldon: No. Oh, it actually is if you get the joke. It's based on the premise that Princeton isn't a very good school.
Leonard: Ha-ha.
Sheldon: Oh, see, now he gets it.

Leonard: You really think he's gonna send us to a bowling alley?
Sheldon: Well, if he does, do you know how filthy those rental balls are? They might as well stand on the corner and give away free rectal exams.

Amy: Scavenger hunts at Harvard were really tough. I always got stuck on the first challenge, trying to find someone to be on a team with me. I guess that story's more sad than funny.

Leonard: We did them at Princeton, too.
Howard: Oh, that's cute. Like it's a real college.
Sheldon: That's amusing. I was going to say the same about M.I.T., but it works for Princeton, too.

Penny: He'll be okay. You taught him well, Padawan.
Sheldon: Good Lord. Padawan is the student, not the teacher.
Penny: Seriously, let him go.

Amy: It actually sounds like he's doing pretty well.
Penny: I really think this is going to be for the best.
Leonard: Me too. And he was able to take a sabbatical -
*Amy starts hitting Leonard with a pillow*
Amy: How could you let him go!?

Leonard: You know he can't take a trip like this by himself.
Penny: He's a grown man.
Leonard: No, he looks like a grown man. You've seen Freaky Friday, sometimes little kids end up in big person bodies.

Leonard: Sheldon, I'm going to miss you.
Sheldon: Of course you are.
Leonard: You just made that easier.

Stuart: I was wondering if I could crash at your place for a few nights.
Raj: Sure, of course. Oh, actually Emily was going to spend the night.
Stuart: You slept with her? Nice.
Raj: I can't take all the credit. She let me do it to her.

Leonard: Seriously? You don't even have a change of clothes or a toothbrush.
Sheldon: My plan is to stop at malls and buy what I need. It's called living off the land.

Howard: Don't take this the wrong way, but did you do this for the insurance money?
Stuart: No! God, you sound like the police, the fireman, my parents, my therapist and the insurance company.

Howard: Hang on, I know a place where you could you stay and earn some money at the same time.
Stuart: Great!
Howard: I just have to warn you: it will involve humiliation, degradation and verbal abuse.
Stuart: So, what's the catch?

Sheldon: You tracked my phone?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Boy, you chase one balloon for three miles.
Penny: We were worried about you.
Sheldon: Don't be melodramatic. I'm just getting on a train and leaving for ever.

*As Stuart moves a box, a piece of the ceiling falls down*
Stuart: That could have killed me. ... Can't catch a break.