Leonard: The math is all there. It's not real.
Penny: Yes, it is.
Sheldon: Look, it's scientifically impossible for a person to tip a cow. Even you with your stocky build and lumberjack shoulders.

Raj: Why would you push a cow over? They're sacred.
Penny: Oh, stop it. I've seen you eat like a million hamburgers.
Raj: Hey, an animal can be both sacred and delicious.

Penny: Look, I'm telling you I've done it. I clearly remember the cow standing up and then a cow on its side.
Leonard: Were you drunk?
Penny: I was sixteen and in Nebraska, what do you think?
Leonard: I think you're the one who fell over.
Penny: Well that would explain why the sky was also on its side.

Penny: Howard, cow tipping - real or not?
Howard: I'm going to say not. That's just based on me trying to roll my mom over when she's snoring.

Sheldon: I've been told that a bald refusal of an invitation is rude and one must instead offer up a polite excuse. So, I'd love to but unfortunately that sounds awful.

Raj: This is all your fault! I should have listened to MunMun, because I've been playing with a cobra and her name is Penny! Why are you so cruel? Do you enjoy my pain?
Penny: There's a girl at the cheesecake factory I can set you up with.
Raj: I LOVE YOU PENNY!

Sheldon: (To Amy) Do you have any idea what it's like to wait for years and never know if you're finally going to get satisfaction?

Howard: He has so little self respect and is so desperate for the smallest crumb of affection, she could literally sleep with his own father in his own bed and post the video to YouTube, and he'd still buy her flowers and ask her to be his bride.
Raj: He's right. But in my defense, if we could survive that, we could survive anything.

Raj: Can I tell her she looks nice?
Bernadette: Sure.
Raj: Can I tell her I miss her?
Bernadette: Maybe, if she asks.
Raj: Can I show her an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our children and grand-children.
Bernadette: I'd save that for the second date.

Leonard: Look at me! *Pulls up his sweater to reveal a rash*
Penny: Oh my god. Is that sweater made of bees?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Lucy: I'm kinda seeing someone.
Raj: I think I know the answer to this, but just to be clear. It's not me, right?

Sheldon: Gentlemen, please. Leonard is trying to walk a mile in my metaphorical shoes. He can't walk in my actual shoes, he has the feet of a toddler.

Penny: If you guys were hungry, why didn't you order something at the restaurant?
Bernadette: We did. You never brought it.
Penny: Oh, that's right. Nachos and a turkey club.
Amy: Not even close.
Penny: Well, I was too busy standing up for my friend to worry about your ... I want to say salmon.
Amy: You want to say sorry.

Raj: What is wrong with you, Penny? You ruined any chance I had of getting back with Lucy. Now she knows I'm a desperate mess instead of being pretty sure.
Raj: *Checks his phone* It's Lucy. She wants to meet for coffee. I LOVE YOU PENNY!