Sheldon: I'm sensing awkwardness. Am I right?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Swish.

Penny: So you want me to be a teacher's pet?
Bernadette: Couldn't hurt.
Leonard: I don't know. Who here has ever been hurt because they were the teacher's pet?
*Sheldon, Amy, Howard, Leonard and Raj raise their hands*

Sheldon: I assume you want to reopen our dialogue about the university forcing me to continue with string theory?
Mrs. Davis: You mean the dialogue that went "Please? No. Please? No. Please? No."?
Sheldon: That's the one. I believe you went last, so, please?

Leonard: A butterfly could have gotten himself home from Arizona.

Sheldon: Of course it's not a big deal to you. You idolize me and nothing could knock me off that pedestal you put me on.
Leonard: It's true. You are a God to me.

Amy: Sheldon, it's okay with me if you're not perfect.
Sheldon: Amy, can I have one more moment with Leonard?
Amy: Sure.
Sheldon: Amy just hurt my feelings. I wanna break up with her.

Leonard: If you had told anyone that you were going away on a train, by yourself, across the country, do you know what they would have said?
Sheldon: That I couldn't do it?
Leonard: Exactly. Right after they said 'yeah!'

Sheldon: I was the nation's smartest caterpillar and after pupating in our nation's railway system, I have burst forth as the world's smartest butterfly.

Sheldon: You know, Sherlock Holmes liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus. But I'm sure those cool ranch Doritos are doing the trick.

Leonard: So you never went outside?
Sheldon: Or had a single piece of fruit.

Penny: Well, I'm a people person. People like me. Some of my favorite people are people. I feel like I'm saying people a lot. People people people. Okay, I'm done.
Dan: Sure?
Penny: People. Yes.

Dan: You're scared of Bernadette?
Penny: Yeah, kinda.
Dan: I thought it was just me! Everyone thinks she's so nice with the little squeaky voice!

Sheldon: Amy, may I please have a moment of privacy to speak with my roommate?
Amy: We're in a moving car! What do you expect me to do, stick my fingers in my ears?
Sheldon: I was thinking put your head out the window like a dog, but that'll work.

Sheldon: Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Now, have you tried doing that?
Officer Hernandez: Nope.
Sheldon: Well, maybe you should. There's lots of books called Sherlock Holmes and there's no books called Officer Hernandez.

Penny: I haven't been on a job interview in years. I'm really nervous.
Bernadette: Don't be. You're built for pharmaceutical sales. You're cute, you're flirty, and I started that like there were gonna be three things.