Sheldon: I am going to record this for posterity.
Leonard: All right, here goes nothing.
Sheldon: Here goes nothing? This is the initial test of our prototype. Can we give it a little more gravitas?
Leonard: Fine. Preliminary trial of the infinite persistence gyroscopic navigational system, phase one commencing.
Sheldon: Eh, maybe it's your voice. I'm gonna see if I can get James Earl Jones to do it in post.

Amy: So, Claire, we've heard so many wonderful things about you.
Claire: Really? Like what?
Amy: Uh, mostly Penny's heard them.

Amy: Hey, Penny, isn't that your old boyfriend Zack?
Penny: Oh, yeah.
Amy: Are you gonna say hi to him?
Penny: Um, I don't know.
Raj: Hey, while you decide, who was better in bed, big hot Zack or wheezy little Leonard? Neener-neener.

Amy: Well, it sounds like a nice night. We should go.
Sheldon: Wine again? Yeah, no, thank you. I like my grapes the old-fashioned way, in a juice box.

Leonard: I have to admit, I've been worried about the military applications since we started talking about this.
Howard: Me, too.
Leonard: Why didn't you say something?
Howard: Same reason I don't talk about ass cancer. It's not a pleasant topic.

Sheldon: Personally, I find the notion of external rewards demeaning. I pursue science for the intrinsic joy of discovery.
Amy: But you always say that you want to win a Nobel Prize.
Sheldon: I also say don't contradict me in front of my friends, but that you don't remember.

Raj: Zack, this is my friend Claire.
Zack: You're hot. You seeing anybody?
Raj: Uh, she's seeing me.
Zack: Why'd you say she's your friend?
Raj: We're just keeping it casual.
Zack: Why is he being casual with you? You seem great.
Claire: I don't know. Ask him.
Zack: Why are you being casual with her? She seems great.

Zack: So what's your invention?
Howard: Well, we're using quantum vortices to replace gyroscopes in guidance systems.
Leonard: What's neat is that they can maintain angular momentum indefinitely.
Zack: Angular momentum. I was wondering about that.

Zack: I see what you're saying. She's not so great.
Raj: Don't listen to him. He says crazy things all the time. Uh, watch. Marco.
Zack: Polo.

Leonard: The difference is she's bringing life into the world, and you suck it out.

(at the urinals)
Leonard: Maybe we should take a step back.
Howard: Take a step back? I'm not a young man any more.

Howard: Okay, then. Geez, how much wine did you drink?
Leonard: Not a lot. I just couldn't start until you walked away.

Sheldon: Your name is Bernatrix. You are a warrior queen. You're strong, beautiful and tall.
Bernadette: Oh. I like the idea of being tall.
Sheldon: I think you're gonna like a lot of things I have in store. For example, in this world, only the men get pregnant, so your husband is home trying not to pee when he laughs.
Bernadette: This is getting fun. What's next?
Sheldon: You're parched and weary from battle. You stand in front of a tavern that serves the coldest, most delicious ale in all the realm.
Bernadette: Oh, I haven't had a drink in months.
Sheldon: What do you do?
Bernadette: I storm in, slam my sword down, and say, barkeep, bring me the strongest ale you have and serve it in the skull of a goblin.
Sheldon: He wants to see I.D.

Bernadette: Thank you for this. You know, ever since people found out I'm having a baby, I feel like I became Pregnant Bernadette. It was nice to take a little break tonight.
Sheldon: I can understand that. From the moment people realized I was a genius, I've been Sheldon the Genius. Although I've never really wanted a break from that, so I suppose I don't understand. Which is ironic, 'cause, you know, genius.

Raj: Hey, you think it'd be okay if I brought Claire to the wine tasting?
Leonard: Sure. I'd like to meet her.
Raj: Oh, thats great. I've been wanting her to meet you guys, too, so this seems like the perfect opportunity.
Sheldon: Oh, but I won't be there.
Raj: Funny how that worked out.