(After Sheldon runs out of his party)
Adam West: I still get paid, don't I?

Leonard: Okay, I'd better go in there and talk to him.
Amy: Well, don't you think I'm the one who should go in?
Leonard: No offense, but I've known the guy a really long time.
Amy: Well, I've, you know, seen him without pants on.
Leonard: Again, no offense, but so have I.
Amy: Well, he's seen me without pants on.
Leonard: Again, -
Penny: Okay, this is ridiculous.

Penny: Sheldon, can I come in?
Sheldon: How do you know I'm not using the facilities?
Penny: Because you e-mail me your bathroom schedule once a week, even though I've clicked unsubscribe, like, a thousand times.

Sheldon: I know that you worked hard to put this together. I'm sorry I'm ruining it.
Penny: Oh, pl- you're not ruining it. Look, at some point, Raj will try to get everyone to do the Electric Slide. Now, that will ruin it.

Sheldon: I don't think I can go back out there.
Penny: That's fine. You know, I hate that your sister and her friends used to torture you. But what I hate even more is, if I was there, I would have tortured you, too.
Sheldon: Based on this pep talk, I'd say you're still doing it.
Penny: My point is, there was a time I never would've been friends with someone like you, and now you are one of my favorite people. So, if what you need is to spend your birthday in a bathroom, I'm happy to do it with you.
Sheldon: Well, everyone will think I'm weird.
Penny: Sweetie, you are weird. Everyone knows you're weird, but they're all still here because they care about you so much.

Barry Kripke: (Knocking) Hello! Some of us need to check our hair because we might have a shot with Leonard's mother.

Leslie Winkle: Leonard. Hey, it's been a while.
Leonard: Leslie. I can't remember the last time we talked. So much has changed.
Leslie Winkle: Has it?
Leonard: Yeah, uh, um, Penny and I got married.
Leslie Winkle: Wow, congratulations. You know, actually, I thought you'd be living with Sheldon forever.
Leonard: Yeah, .... Well, don't be a stranger.

Penny: Okay, everybody, Sheldon is gonna come back out, but I think he's a little embarrassed, so let's all be extra nice, okay?
Barry Kripke: What are you looking at me for? I'm a saint. (chuckles) But a sinner in the sack.

Penny: So what's going on?
Sheldon: I don't know. I looked around the room, and I saw all the faces and the presents, and it it was just too much.
Penny: I get that. Hey, you want to just bring a few people in here? You know, Wil Wheaton in the bathtub, Batman on the toilet. It'll be like the weirdest Comic-Con ever.

Howard: Oh, my God, and do you have any idea how expensive having a kid is?
Raj: I read that in Los Angeles, raising a child through college can cost over a million dollars.
Howard: A million dollars? God, it's like my nuts just kicked me in the nuts.

Howard: That's it. I got to start earning more money right now.
Raj: I know, you could ask Bernadette for a raise in your allowance.
Howard: This isn't a joke.
Raj: I wasn't joking.

Leonard: It'll be fine. People have kids every day. You'll figure this out.
Raj: Yeah, come on, this is great news and you know it.
Howard: You're right, it is, I'm just a little overwhelmed right now.
Leonard: Hey, you know what we should do?
Sheldon: All get vasectomies so this doesn't happen to us?
Leonard: Go out and celebrate. But not your worst idea.

Amy: Hey, let's go do something to get your mind off this.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, we should go out.
Bernadette: Where?
Penny: Uh, I don't know, a bar?
Bernadette: Can't drink.
Penny: We can, but all right.

Amy: Are you hungry? How about that sushi place you love?
Bernadette: Doctor said I can't have sushi.
Penny: Okay, look, we don't have to go anywhere. We can just, you know, stay here and hang out in the hot tub.
Bernadette: Doctor said I can't go in the hot tub.
Amy: Maybe you should get a new doctor. What, he said you can't laugh either?

Howard: Morning.
Bernadette: Morning.
Howard: "We"? What is this?
Bernadette: I don't know. Maybe it says something on the back.
Howard: "Continued on milk." If you're tricking me into making my own breakfast, it didn't work for my mom, and it won't work for you.
"Are."
"We are ... see spoons for more."
Bernadette: What could it be? "We are Groot?" "We are the champions?" "We are family, I got all my sisters with me?"
Howard: Are you serious?
Bernadette: Yeah.
Howard: Are you sure?
Bernadette: Pretty positive. That's a joke, because the pregnancy test says-
Howard: Oh, my God. This is incredible.
We're gonna be parents.
We're gonna get to board planes first.
We're finally gonna get to see what's in that family bathroom at the mall.