Leonard: This is cool. When was the last time you and I built something together?
Howard: Scientifically? A little over a year ago. LEGOs? Last week in my room.
Leonard: If there was a Nobel Prize for Millennium Falcons that fall apart when you pick them up, we'd be set.

Bernadette: Hey, you know who went out on a date the other night? Stuart.
Penny: Oh, good for him.
Bernadette: I thought so, too.
Penny: So is she, like, homeless, or framing him for a crime?

Penny: Hey, guys.
Leonard: Hey. What are you doing here?
Bernadette: We heard there were some sexy scientists working hard all weekend.
Penny: Yup, so we brought you some lunch and we are gonna go look for 'em.

Sheldon: Leonard, if that Swedish team beats us, I will never be able to enjoy anything from their country again. Which is a shame, because Swedish meatballs are my favorite toothpick-delivered meatball.

Sheldon: Just a few more signatures, and we'll be finished. Initial here to acknowledge that you've returned your key. Okay. As my future neighbor, I'd like you to have a key. Initial here to acknowledge you received it.

Amy: Well, the guy at the store said this one is great.
Sheldon: Oh. Oh, the guy. Oh, pardon me. I didn't realize you'd spoken to the guy. Yeah, tell me, did the guy choose one with a 4K display and a Thunderbolt port?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Yeah? Did the guy make sure that this has a one terabyte solid-state drive?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Yeah? Oh, well, was this guy Rick from Computer Solutions on Colorado?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, he does know his stuff.

Penny: I'm proud of you. You're taking this really well.
Sheldon: Well, it's not like I'm never going to see you two again. Which brings us to article 23 subsection C. Please check here to reserve your spot at the ten year roommate reunion.
Leonard: Do I really have to do that now?
Sheldon: No, but if you want chicken and get stuck with the fish, that's on you.

Amy: Sheldon, just tell me.
Sheldon: It might be easier to show you.
Amy: Okay.
Sheldon: We'd have to take your car.
Amy: All right.
Sheldon: And I'm gonna need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
Amy: Well, I signed one before we slept together. Why not now?

Cinema Worker: Hey, guys, thank you for being a part of our test screening. You're about to be one of the first audiences to see Suicide Squad.
Leonard: Hey, you were right.
Howard: Well, I keep telling you, good things happen to bad people.

Raj: Oh. You know what? I'm gonna let them know that I'm here with you and that they're busted.
Penny: No. You know what? Don't, don't. Let's let them think they're getting away with it.
Bernadette: Yeah, let's see how deep a hole they can dig for themselves.
Penny: Mmm-hmm.
Raj: Interesting. I mean, it's not testicles on a cryostat, but I like it.

Leonard: The difference is she's bringing life into the world, and you suck it out.

Raj: "Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One runs from Loki, the other runs from stones."
So, what do you think?
Emily: Wow.
Raj: Runs from stones means that-that big boulder, but I couldn't rhyme anything with boulder.
Emily: Colder, shoulder, soldier, folder.
Raj: Right, yeah, right.

Raj: I'm telling you, dude, the song has no groove. You can't dance to it.
Howard: Who cares? I thought the whole point of Footprints on the Moon was to write songs that make people think.
Raj: You can do both, like Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean". While you're dancing you're thinking, like, "Darn it, whose baby is it?"

Bernadette: You all right?
Howard: I'm fine. Just a little embarrassed I had to be carried down the stairs like a baby. (To Penny) Thanks.

Sheldon: In general, would you say that you smell better, worse or the same as you do right now?