Sheldon: That's some smart talk from a guy who can't even keep his face in focus.

Sheldon: This place is terrific. Why have we never been here before?
Leonard: The same reason we don't do a lot of fun stuff - you.

Penny: That was such a fun night.
Leonard: Probably 'cause you got to see your man up there rockin' the mic.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. I was a little surprised when you decided to beat-box.
Leonard: Oh, that was really an asthma attack. I just sold it.

Sheldon: You're kidding! What kind of maniacs have coitus in someone else's bedroom?!
Howard: Thank you, Pasadena! Good night!

Howard: I'd like to dedicate my last song of the evening to my wife, best friend, and now the mother of our child. I love you, Bernie.
"Havin' my baby / What a lovely way of sayin' / How much you love me / Havin' my baby / What a lovely way of sayin' / What you're thinkin' of me"

Howard: I love you. And I'm not just saying that because your breasts are gonna get bigger.

Penny: So, you gonna get up there later?
Sheldon: A microphone, a room full of inaccurate depictions of Polynesian religion, and a captive audience to hear about it? You bet I am.

Amy: How are you doing?
Sheldon: Oh, wonderful. I'm being musically encouraged to bust a move. If I knew what that meant, I might just do it.

Penny: Oh, it's Leonard. He says Sheldon's drunk and they're gonna do karaoke if we want to join them.
Penny: That sounds fun.
Amy: Oh, no. Sheldon's drunk texting me.
Bernadette: What's it say?
Amy: "Would you like to sing karaoke with us."
Bernadette: How is that a drunk text?
Amy: He used a period instead of a question mark. He's so wasted.

Bernadette: You guys can go in if you want.
Penny: No, we're a team. If you can't go in, we're not going in.
Amy: Then why are we drinking?
Penny: Okay, it's not like she's got the Christ child in there, all right?

Raj: Look at that. You've known you're gonna be a father for less than a day and you're already stepping up.
Leonard: I'm telling you, you got this.
Howard: Maybe you're right.
Sheldon: Of course he's right. You and I both know how hard it is growing up without a father. That's why I'm confident you're gonna be the best dad you can be.
Howard: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You're welcome. And if he has twins, we can do all kinds of neat experiments on them.

Sheldon: Where's the bathroom?
Raj: Uh, it's in the corner.
Sheldon: Excuse me.
(To strangers at another table)
Hey, how you doin'?
Raj: I hope the bathroom is clearly marked.
Leonard: Doesn't matter. He's headed for the kitchen anyway.

Sheldon: You guys, the bathroom here is amazing. There's people cooking in it.

Raj: Groundbreaking revelations, tropical drinks. Tell me this isn't like the best episode of Sex and the City.

Leonard: I'm not seeing anyone using liquid helium vortices like this.
Howard: I'm not finding anything either.
Raj: That's a good sign.
Sheldon: Oh, wait, I found something.
Howard: Damn. What is it?
Sheldon: This video. The baby panda sneezes, and the mama panda gets so scared.