Amy: Think about all the fun things you get to do when you have a baby.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. You get to buy toys and little clothes.
Bernadette: I kind of already do that for Howie.

Sheldon: You guys, the bathroom here is amazing. There's people cooking in it.

Raj: Groundbreaking revelations, tropical drinks. Tell me this isn't like the best episode of Sex and the City.

Sheldon: Where's the bathroom?
Raj: Uh, it's in the corner.
Sheldon: Excuse me.
(To strangers at another table)
Hey, how you doin'?
Raj: I hope the bathroom is clearly marked.
Leonard: Doesn't matter. He's headed for the kitchen anyway.

Leonard: Can you focus on what we're talking about?
Sheldon: All right. Look, now, this may be the rum talking, but as long as the unpinning rate of the vortices is kept within 1.1 and 1.3, the Magnus force issue should be negligible.
Raj: Even drunk, he's still smarter than all of us.
Sheldon: And stronger. Yeah, who wants to see me beat up the bartender?
Leonard: I'd enjoy that.
Sheldon: Nah, she's a good kid.

Raj: No, Sheldon's right. Emily did say I always talk about my feelings too much.
Sheldon: I suppose that could be a legitimate concern in a relationship. Uh, perhaps even a red flag. And speaking of red flags, check out this sexy number from the former Soviet Union. Hubba, hubba.

Penny: This is ridiculous. You know, I'm gonna go talk to the matre d'.
Leonard: What are you gonna say?
Penny: I don't know. I'm ... I'm gonna flirt with him.
Leonard: I don't know if I'm comfortable with that.
Penny: I'm still sleeping with you tonight.
Leonard: See if you can get a table by the window.

Howard: Um, "taking care of an injured rabbit." Okay, make sure it's comfortable and warm. Well, it was just in a hot tub. I'm gonna say check.

Bernadette: It's not moving, but I think it's still alive.
Howard: Well, should we put it back in there a few minutes?

Amy: Since we're live, you'll finally be able to reach out to us with your flag thoughts and flag questions.
Sheldon: Allow us to answer a few quick ones that we get all the time. Uh, yes, I really am a doctor. Uh, yes, she really is my girlfriend.
Amy: No, I just blink a lot, it's not Morse code for "rescue me."

Amy: Consider tonight's episode a Valentine's Day gift for you, our viewers.
Sheldon: It's also my gift to you. That was clear, right? 'Cause you're not getting anything else.

Leonard: Uh, bad news. The matre D' said it's gonna be at least an hour.
Penny: An hour? What? That's crazy. We have a reservation.
Leonard: I know.
Penny: So what did you say?
Leonard: "Thanks, sorry to bother you." But I said it like a badass.
Penny: All right, well, can't you, like, slip him some money or something?
Leonard: Really? I've never done that before. Does it work?
Penny: Do people like money - is that what you're asking?
Leonard: A lot of attitude from the woman who thought MC squared was a rapper.
Penny: Now, is that a smart thing to say on a holiday that's basically national sex night?
Leonard: I'm sorry. You're pretty, I'm stupid.

Howard: I'm gonna check the temp on the tub.
Bernadette: Don't make it too hot.
Howard: Sorry, but "too hot" is the only temperature I come in.
Bernadette: Look at that. You shaved it all.
Howard: You're welcome.

Sheldon: If any of you are looking for something to do on Valentine's Day, Amy and I'll be streaming our first-ever live episode of Fun With Flags. You're welcome to join us as we celebrate the timeless love affair between wind and flapping fabric.
Leonard: Penny and I have dinner reservations that night, but any other time, no.

Sheldon: Raj?
Raj: Spending Valentine's Day with Emily.
Leonard: You don't sound very excited about it.
Raj: Oh, I am, I am. I g... I guess I'm still wondering if Emily and I are right for each other.
Howard: Does this have to do with that girl you had coffee with?
Raj: You mean the strong, sexy angel I can't stop thinking about? Who can say?