Amy: Are we done discussing the weather?
Sheldon: I don't know if I'd call it "discussing." You kind of sat back and let me do all the work.

Amy: Sheldon, we've known each other a long time. We are perfectly capable of having a conversation without relying on a list off the Internet.
Sheldon: All right. Well, what should we talk about?
Amy: I don't know. Just ask me whatever comes to mind.
Sheldon: Very well. I know you've been seeing other men. Have you had coitus with any of them?
Amy: Man, I walked right into that one.

Leonard: Next we need a teaspoon of pepper, which, I believe, was also the name of your childhood dog.

Penny: Fine. You think you know so much. Who's my favorite Spice Girl?
Leonard: Baby.
Penny: Who's my favorite member of NSYNC?
Leonard: Justin.
Penny: Who's my favorite Backstreet Boy?
Leonard: (Scoffs) Nice try. NSYNC forever.
Penny: Damn it!

Howard: So we don't even get to be up front where the action is?
Bernadette: What difference does it make?
Howard: I don't know. I was hoping some poor kid would come up to me and say, (affecting a high-pitched, British accent) "Please, sir, I want some more."
Raj: You're in a soup kitchen, not a production of Oliver!
Howard: It's not like I'm expecting them to sing.

Sheldon: Since last we spoke, have you acquired any pets?
Amy: No. You?
Sheldon: No. Since last we spoke, have you planned or gone on any vacations?
Amy: I might go visit my aunt next week.
Sheldon: Mmm. Your aunt in Modesto?
Amy: No, the one in Bakersfield.
Sheldon: Mmm, Bakersfield. I see. Where has this list been all my life?

Leonard: What number were you putting in? You don't know my birthday, do you?
Penny: Yes, I do.
Leonard: Well, what is it?
Penny: May.
Leonard: May what?
Penny: I'm not gonna say your password out loud. That is not secure!

Leonard: You don't know your own husband's birthday.
Penny: Well you don't know everything about me.
Leonard: Your birthday is December 2, you grew up on Perkins Street, the last four digits of your social are 7-6-2-1, and the odds of me letting you forget this are zero.

Penny: Oh, look at us. Our last Thanksgiving as husband and wife.

Amy: Hello.
Sheldon: Hi.
Amy: Ready for the aquarium?
Sheldon: I am. You know, and in an effort to reduce awkwardness as we learn how to function as friends, I printed out a list of safe topics for polite conversation.
Amy: If that makes you more comfortable.
Sheldon: If there were a list of things that make me more comfortable, lists would be on the top of that list.

Emily: So, how does this work?
Bernadette: The soup kitchen manager assigns the jobs, and the shifts are six hours.
Howard: Six hours? Oh, God, I don't want to complain for that long.
Raj: Do you ever do anything for anyone else?
Howard: I happen to be a giving and generous lover.

Emily: Are you and I close enough for me to say that's creepy?
Bernadette: We are, and I believe the word you're looking for is eugh!

Bernadette: Wipe that smug smile off your face.
Howard: Maybe I'm happy that so many people turned up to help the less fortunate.
Emily: Are you and I close enough for me to say-
Bernadette: That he's an ass? He beat you to it.

Howard: Wipe that smug smile off your face.
Bernadette: (Laughing) I can't!

Amy: Hi, Sheldon. What's up?
Sheldon: Well, I'm calling because Thanksgiving is coming up, and I wanted to offer you the aquarium tickets.
Amy: No one can go with you?
Sheldon: No. They'd rather spend the holiday with each other than find out if this is the year I finally touch a starfish.